Åsa Beckman has the DN written some columns about why the middle-aged men ” alltid ” For younger women. She asked readers to explain and got a great letter harvest of thoughts on this.
It was apparently so that the men spoke of love in their replies – it is about love – but their response was also very largely on the young women's bodily advantages. firm breasts, smooth skin, wet bellies. Beckman noted that the young women for their part not once wrote about his old man's body. The women also wrote that it is love – but instead of talking about men's bodies described the security of having a relationship with an older man. You do not risk being left or deceived, because you yourself were the ” younger woman ” that men traditionally considered to provide the mothers of their children, the women also stood back while he has built his career and finances, now the younger woman can reap. Younger women also talked about the tickling sensation of power that are in getting a father to opt out of the old wife / mother to the old children.
I do not understand anything of this, but I'm also alarmingly superficial, inser jag.
The only thing I could understand that coveted was that when a man is older, he is simply not as tuppig, not as prestigious and ( ibland ) reflected and softened so that he can see beyond his ego. That bit's highly desirable in a relationship and just that really young people have problems. ( I wrote people – not men)
Men … still, despite the fact that we are entering this phenomenon with older men and younger women have with us male aspects of physical advantages as wombs and breasts and women with security and power so it is of course most of… guess!… jo love! And also let Åsa Beckman it all rounded. There is nothing to hyvas over! This pattern is repeated in the women's and men's world in this Mans World has no deeper explanation than …. love… and it is not so beautiful? Do not disturb!
”Kärlek ” is a broad term.
I can not help but wonder if the older men that the younger women say they love would qualify as marriage partners if they were exactly the same, but worked in the cashier at the ICA? Would the young women who opt for the older men and say,: ”it is just love, it's about!” just love the same man he worked at the car wash where you roll in his fancy trailer? Or if he was a taxi driver who drives through the glimmering town by night? Or distributing the record at the famous law firm in the city?
Ack! I doubt!
There are always exceptions but I think that many women are traditionally bred to have a calculator in panty. Enough rattle it off and take part in the choice of marriage partner for a woman. Of course it is embarrassing, especially today to recognize an independent strong modern woman – superskämmigt, it is so embarrassing that it is even embarrassing to write it for me to take the liberty to reflect just that.
And it is so, I wonder, is it that many middle-aged and old men think, that women are indifferent to the male beauty to be or not to be? I know men that I otherwise hold in high regard and consider to be sensible in many areas of life that actually seriously claim: ”It does not seem to be important for women how a man looks. It's probably biologically. ” Men, men, men, men äIs it really true that a young woman with plump hot lips think it's great to kiss a torrläppad man and feel his limp body against her? Enjoying truly a woman of letting their soft young fingertips elusive trail of a potbelly?
Alltså, I doubt it.
Why would it be that women are not instigated by male beauty, like so many men believe to be the case? Do not women's sexual desire and arousal of a stylish man's body, only hud, solid contacting, well formed pouch, vibrating eagerly recurring stalls, narrow slender hips, small nimble buttocks, broad shoulders with smooth shiny skin? Strong stomach and beautiful solid muscle on the most beautiful places in the smooth skin? Bright sparkling eyes, blood-filled kiss cover lips and curls to pull their fingers out? Va? Or is it that women have such a spiritual inner maturity that they ignore such superficialities and only look to the person( ”people” may as well ” love” be a broad term ) the middle aged / old man's body, eller? Specifically with regard to males as, for overseeing certainly not superficial deficiencies in his own revelation and love are not happy themselves for his sake inres, and such relief would probably not desirable ethylene where she can freely chan sera.
Or is it that women do not expect any aesthetically sensual sensations in bed? Maybe they did not expect any special sensations at all, more than tickle in having conquered a financial fullpepprat well established animal father who opens the gates of power, wealth and social impact? Oj, what some are angry now. Jag vet.
I admit that I'm very superficial when it comes to men and their erotic value, and I certainly can not imagine that a younger edition of me would indulge themselves in ecstasy with hubby. I am amazed when I'm at local, or the like as Riche, and young-looking women cling to the normal ugly fatted rödmosiga lot of middle-aged men but with purse. It is beyond my comprehension.
I think of those left women, those aged in which the home alongside her husband. They are then replaced in part to the younger woman a younger body. It was something that was significant in Beckman's letter harvesting, that the men spoke of the young women's bodily advantages. It is also what some of my real middle-aged male friends say. They can say things that ” I could never be with a woman of the same age!” And this is because they lack the smooth skin, the solid breasts, the wet womb. ”I must be lit on a woman if I should be with her. No matter how nice and interesting and nice she is as a person, I must be lit on her” can thus men approaching seventy upset explain. The woman's body. It is for that she ” loved”. I would think it would be a true and rejected it, if he loved me only for my body and laid to love me for ages, just as he. That's a true classical variety to give his life time? It would not like to have!
But I say this:
It is well clear as hell that their bellies are dry! Imagine living for decades with the same man doing his old in and out the same way year after year, without curiosity, the routine, same, replay replay replay and the replay have an unspoken surmunnat REQUIREMENTS. Remember to open his wonderful glowing body to osinnlig husband who never learned to love arts and become too lazy and who are likely to be stensur if he can not get to where he needs and then let his bad temper out on the mood of the family. The thing ”for the sake of domestic peace” is not something passed if anyone thought it. Imagine that middle-aged mother and wife first work all day and struggle with their own career and then take care of the children and the household and try to make it nice all the way to the contemporary demands of a woman and he comes home and sulking because something sad happened on his job, sorry for him, he is tired and his tiger in front of the TV or the screen or something else, while she continues to take emotional responsibility for children and practical responsibility for the household and when she finally gets topple into bed, he rafsande after her body, or rather her breasts and womb, though he barely asked a question, barely have managed to talk to the kids, has barely seen her in the eyes! Ja, it looks in many homes you should know. You are not alone! Jag vet. Jag är författare. I talk to people about things they do not usually tell anyone and above all speak – and writes – people to me! Both women and men, but most women. They feel seen in those novels I have written in this equality Time, because it is my job as a writer to see the gaps. It amuses me to see the gaps! It amuses me that people think that they are alone in them. Nej, it's sad but it's also a bit tragicomic with the hypocrisy of it all, this trimming facade, loneliness and longing, and you have very reason to twist and turn everything you know a few more times.
There is a reason that a single sentence of my novel ” Leontines längtan” striking of all kinds of women, regardless of background, utbildning, ethnicity and age. Leontines neck longs to be kissed, when he comes home from work and she was standing at the stove and cook dinner, but it never occurs. It never happens. It never happens. Alltså, that the neck is a picture: she will never be tenderly treated and curiously seen in the common everyday, in this one life, in what would be love and give both the power to carry time, family, the future as they have agreed, she will not be seen as anything other than the body, rather the womb and breasts to scramble for when it penetrates the. Så! Who recognizes it? Nej, not many prominent independent modern women.
But no wonder that the middle-aged woman's womb dries in the marriage bed!
The man's solution is not to change as lovers, man and loving, without finding another body with associated nice appearance to switch to. And the cells there is the! They want to shop and stay well and feel safe. Bodies that take a breather because they themselves are the ”younger woman ” and therefore should be safe because no other body can threaten them so easily.
but love, it is! Nice romantic love! Oh yeah. Mutual, god, safe love. Finally love!
So, my mind wanders to the middle-aged man and his problems with their peers women's breasts are not as solid as they have been. When there is indeed such fixed placed on the second, but not just my wife, it becomes frustrating. But the fact is that the middle-aged woman's breast is still very female breast of a woman. However … I wonder still…. What does a middle-aged woman , or a young woman even more, with a middle-aged man's chest? They should not even be breast? What do you do with such? Kneaded and squeezed them and suck and caress them greedily? And when they begin to dance in front of a, what do you do then? Close Your Eyes?
Not to speak of other highly significant audiences at the man's body, that can not be ignored as a woman, even if it is so refined and mature that it can ignore the old man's voice and kulmagar and such… how should we respond to this with the failing state, a fact that the most pilska men, after all, often, very often, over time, forced to bow to? And especially as a young woman with wet womb, solid breast and smooth skin? What to do, what to do?
But hey, This we do not talk about, This could be called ” man aging”. or this: ”Why do older women always have been younger men?” But if one would dare to say such a thing, it is the allt a large human tragedy. Then go inngen sure. Now it is after all only half the population is uncertain because they are in aging bodies, but in that case had all been threatened! Then we would have to conclude that NO ONE CAN LOVE. What is love, did you then ask yourself seriously. What do we want this one life on earth? Then we would all just superficial gender patterns that reduce each other to surface. Thus far, we can not go!
Nej, we talk further about and to question over and over again ” aging woman” and cement assertion ”Why do older men always have been younger women?” The woman and her body continues to be described as an insoluble problem, och ” the female aging process” a threat of lost love and belonging for every woman.
Can we reverse it sometime? Can we train ourselves to see other perspectives and find other approaches? This old is tiring.
Christina, What I was happy to find this text. Äntligen, tänkte jag, is there anyone who takes himself to dig deeper, challenge, capture and articulate the complex and contradictory in love, attraction, confirmation, security, social affiliation. I read previous Asa's articles and thought that she stayed in far too common reflections, even conventional. A small comment I published, but not at all developed. Liberating it was now reading your reflections. It stimulates me to examine my own thoughts and philosophize a little about their own experiences. Now of course some retakes of what you write, but perhaps it might be fun for you to read it filtered through me.
The attraction can not be relieved of the external personal attributes, bodily as well as social, is for most not so controversial. The notion that men more so than women value it is quite common, and there might be something in it, but I'm just like you confident that women generally prefer the attractive appearance, supple body, erotic virility, beautiful scents, fitting clothes etc.. It's cool that you print out this ogarderat, without caveats. Certainly internal characteristics, values, attitudes that in the long run most important for a relationship, and for the love especially generous tenderness, attention, participation, nyfikenhet, but a challenge sjangserande outer experience of attraction. And I do not think that love in the end survive the absence of attraction. Visst, there can be great nourishment to love in helping, handle, cherish a needy, but it is not the phase of mature love we are talking about here, eller hur, but rather the starting point of love, Love, the desire to start a love relationship, or the desire to continue it without glancing at options.
That you dared take into tangible attraction torque was more controversial. Many have a feeling that it is common, but think it is important to take away from this, even denounce. It starts to smell imbalances in different ways, dependencies, power conditions, even oppression on the road to prostitution. But surely this is somewhere in the ride, interwoven with other factors, Perhaps indistinguishable. It's also not surprising if some favorable personal inner qualities have led to material and social success. And perhaps it could be vice versa, To successfully grow some attractive features. Note that I do not think it's exclusively female will be attracted to material and social opportunities; the reasons why it may seem so, other – return to the. the woman (or to) abstaining sensual sensation of thick wallet is a regrettable delusion, or heavily chipped life.
So the basic theme, the age attractiveness, male and female behavior from this. Over time, the body is aging inexorably. At what pace and how determined partly by genes and partly of how to take care of your body. But besides biology depends how old you are perceived by attitude, behavior, mental energy level, change tendency, interests, etc.. How much of this you can take control of difficult to reach, but certainly to a considerable extent. Thus we can partially affect both the biological aging process, through life habits, and also the age of the impression by dedicating ourselves some way to be. The youth carries with him several attractions torque deny probably no, as well as that age can bring to other types of attractive assets. And when it comes to the kind of love relationship we're talking about here, it would be self-deception not to admit that youthfulness is celebrating triumphs. As you remain bloomed portray as nicely as off-putting old man's voice, abdominal swelling and fading capable.
Is it the case that women in less cares about youthful attributes and increasingly falls in love himself in the inner qualities, social platforms and material purchasing power? At least one experience I would suggest this. In my last serious love relationship (Unfortunately, now asleep) I lived with a woman who did not notice if I had cut myself, bought new clothes, gone up or down a few pounds, etc.. But she was perhaps unusual in other ways; the cozy home I turn, Cooking was also mostly my initiative. She was not very "female" in his neighborhood patterns, kissing and hugging, I started (Indeed, she met up willingly), and sex drive was resolutely and without flourish, of us it was she who "raked" for my gender when it reached the (Often). Nej, I do not think that women are generally less interested in the youthful attributes, explains that women are more often the younger in a relationship is more complex. Social patterns that put the initiative in the man's hands, power structures that made that men have better chances of building material and social status (which is attractive for the woman to hang on - "socially bred to have a calculator in the panty"), men greater freedom to move about outside the family circle (and thus interfaces with other women, Please attractive youthful) and subsequently, As a result of these social patterns, it has been built between male attitudes that make it comme-il-faut to consider and assess women for physical advantages (which prompted the desire to show off a trophy-girl), while women were less acceptable to hankering for a toy-boy. But when the cat ... I'm often on the island of Lamu (Kenya) where population and tourists meet small-scale and mostly in fine tuning, but with obvious major differences in physical capacity. Because Islam dominates the island's women are usually in strong social control, while men's outreach. There it is very common to older Western women find love in a young tuned local man. Is an answer to the sensual conditions? Christina, you doubt probably the.
Obviously it's a personal preference what is attractive, wherever that in external and internal features or material and social situation. Pure genuine love can thus occur between young and old, thick and narrow, rich and poor … But at least you and I, Christina, agree that it seems much more likely to be attracted to a vigorous energetic body than a limp and lethargic, it attracts with intelligence, humor and empathy and generosity that followed the social and material choices come with a certain trump hand. Allt, and much more, composed of complex patterns, often contradictory, which triggers the elusive love, nature skillfully carved preferred to have us with blinders throw us out of uninhibited mating. After which, at best, a mature love takes over, which thrives best in freedom with responsibility, especially for the offspring.
You call other perspectives, new approaches. Your text is a good start, jerks of the covers and uncovers the hypocrisy, studying the gaps, As you type. Cohen was on the same track, diktade – type: in the cracks will light up. It stimulates conversation, of the chamber, parmiddagen, 's club, job picnic table ... and maybe something happens slowly, for women and men, i.e. the entire population, liver under these conditions, everyone's love is threatened as you type. In any case, I will not go on for themselves, so I start with self-examination, examine my motivations, Recognizing my impulse to let the eyes and imagination seek the young body. Have I experienced higher levels of younger men? Nej, inte alls. The mental journey of discovery is what I go running on, the untamed desire to penetrate more deeply into each other's desires, hisnandet to expose their own dreams far from salongsfähighet. It has in no way followed the age, but completely different individual tracks. And I think of vigilance in everyday life, To capture the opportunities to revive the embers. I yearn to be kissed in the neck.
Got this link from a friend. Could not read through everything. Usually never comment, but you feel met 😉 so.
”Or get yourself a wonderful life and do something fun instead, something you like. Instead of analyzing numbers. Adults still choose much better how they want to live and with whom, without cues and advice”
So good that what you write comes out. Would be so interesting to talk openly about this. In other forums.. conversation groups. I am convinced that there are many who have similar experience. Women are excluded due to age. Men due to finances and thus lower social status.
What does dating do with us…what it produces for hidden qualities and prejudices in us?
That We in some way consume people…gm to quickly scan through the profile…swipe away read new…etc.. and that behind the next profile there is something better. Have four sites running at the same time.
I believe in something beyond this … ngt honest and genuine with us humans beyond the sites. Where and how can we meet in this and the vulnerability we can all feel in our loneliness and longing for love.
And this with older men's photos where many seem to think that attraction is in a photo taken in a frog perspective with a shirt where the stomach has
a prominent role..generalizing but still true. So men… spend some time on looks and clothing choices.. hang on a bit.