Christina Herrströms blog

The origin of my writing the book A thousand times stronger was a development conversation I had when my daughter had just started the sixth grade. We had moved from a few years in Gothenburg, back to Stockholm and we had chosen housing based on the schools – that is, based on what the schools claimed to be.

Our daughter had attended Gothenburg's Samskola, a school with the Montessori pedagogy ( a fantastic pedagogy with great respect for the children's inherent will and power to conquer knowledge, a pedagogy that has completely fallen into obscurity in recent decades, perhaps because it creates strong, independent adults?) as a basis and where every morning the principal took every single student by the hand and met his/her gaze. Good morning Sebastian, good morning Emelie. He knew all the students' names, and he figured he'd be there to welcome them to school just about every day, something we all deeply appreciated. Do you think that this affects the atmosphere at school? I think so.

She was eleven years old, when we moved up to Stockholm, a couple of weeks before the summer holidays after five. Before the moving party left, she had visited the school and introduced herself to the two classes that were about to be placed in. We expected the new school, Katarina north, or Knorra called, would live up to what they professed to cherish strongly. As obvious as everyone must show each other respect. And that work peace and everyone's opportunity to grow through and at school were protected. That every student had an equal right to be there, that is, no one had the right to sit on anyone else. The school beat its chest. There were banners in the corridors with the beautiful words. I spoke several times with the principal before we moved there. We thought it would be a good continuation of the fine schooling she had experienced up to that point.

The kind that was so beautifully displayed on Knorra's banners and website and which surely a large part of the staff thought they were executing kan de facto fungera. If you are not satisfied with being blinded by nice words you proudly repeat like a mantra. If you are willing to examine your own behavior. If you have a well-thought-out attitude and a constructive pedagogy that is based on and respects the children. It can work if all the adults in the context are aware of power structures and gender-related behavior patterns both among the students and which are passed on by oneself, which inhibit and limit the children's freedom to develop. It can work very well if adults set limits, offers interesting alternatives, has the knowledge to arouse and preserve students' motivation and interest in being at school. The children's kicks at school should not consist of challenging others' integrity and ruining others' schooling. If you refuse to see the imbalance between the children in terms of space and privacy, you cannot claim to protect everyone's rights. This kind of laissez – faire rhymes screamingly badly with the statement ” we protect gender equality”.

Unfortunately, it was this gap that was revealed during the developmental interview with the mentor/teacher and the eleven-year-old girl and her mother.

The mentor had a message to deliver. A very positive one. My daughter was an example. No one gave in to her. Because she marked, clear and definite. She had high integrity. The mentor cheered. The adults associated with the class were impressed by the girl. Besides having high integrity and not being afraid to speak up and make a mark, she was a very nice little person, who spread joy around him, moreover, both talented and ambitious. But the very best, from the adults' point of view, was that she was, what they called ” a strong girl ”. And think, it was exactly what they had wished for. Now she was finally here!

I listened and of course felt proud of my daughter. Of course, I thought I might have succeeded in helping her maintain her integrity and strength, in the way I had hoped. Självklart, considering what I have previously written, I have always thought a lot about gender roles and how girls are raised away from their inner being, natural innate strength.

But at the same time, a quiet alarm rang in the back of his head. And I thought too, that none of what the mentor spoke about, was something my girl was aware of, nothing that she herself considered special or remarkable. Tvärtom, it was obvious that you marked. It was obvious that you spoke up if someone tried to provoke you, or was nasty to a friend or disrupted the lesson. So was it something unique? Did that make her something extra over the others, to one ” stark” girl? If instead you let others ignore you, destroy one's work peace, be nasty, then you are ”normal”? Strong should be something beyond the obvious, to be considered as ”strong”.

The mentor told my daughter that all the teachers wanted her to, as the good example she was, think about empowering the other girls in the class to dare to speak up and highlight, as she herself so undoubtedly did. So dare to speak up against the guys.

I saw that my daughter's small shoulders slumped and that a certain confusion could be seen in her eyes.

The mentor also told me that the staff at the school had been so impressed by her clarity, calm and completely fearless ways of introducing herself to wildly strange kids in the two classes she had visited in the spring before the move. They had expected her to shyly sit where she did and mumble something about her name and where she moved from and when she would be arriving, but instead she got up and of course walked over to the painting, took everyone into the classroom and told the story boldly and without awkwardness, because she was well grounded in herself and used to being respected. The staff had become so happy, for here was their savior. They decided to put her in the very rowdy class instead of the kind and nice class that would have been better for her. For the staff, it was much better to have her in the unbalanced class where over the years it became an increasing problem with the boys, who behaved badly and without limits both towards staff and the girls. There, with her high integrity, she would be able to act as a powerhouse for the girls who had become accustomed to enduring privacy-violating behavior during the six – seven years that the adult staff had had to do with the class, from when they were six-year-old little people.

We left there, hand in hand my daughter and I, in the autumn darkness and I remember being filled with mixed emotions, I still hadn't really grasped what was said and what it meant. We were quiet, which was not natural to any of us, we were thoughtful. I remember saying after a while, as encouraging and kind as mothers do, that how nice it was that you received such praise. But then it was difficult to continue. What would I say? How nice it was that you got such praise for being just the way you are and that the others have been bullied for their six years at school and scared of the boys and apparently the adults were scared of the boys too, and no one says anything and no adult has taken their responsibility even though they are a whole team working together and it is now expected that you , little girl almost twelve years old, should correct everything by what you do completely naturally which is apparently exceptional, unique and colossally different. How nice that you are appointed to take responsibility for such an incomprehensible and widespread situation and how nice that they tell you to be proud that you are a ” strong girl ” which should now spread your strength to your fellow little sisters while the adult team silently applauds in the background – silent, because they don't want to clash with anyone.

The book grew out of my evening walks with our dog, the story came to be every time I passed the wall where my daughter and I had walked after the development talk, with her little hand in mine. My girl walked silently by my side, the fair hair bobbed under the cap, the smala legs, the tender hand, the rosy cheek, the downcast thoughtful look, on the way home from the development interview which was meant as one big super compliment. Every time I passed the same wall as when I had said those slightly lost words of encouragement without either of us having been able to continue the thought, now instead clarified the sorrow into a neat soup.

Idag, when A Thousand Times Stronger has existed as a book for eighteen years and as a film for fourteen years, and I know that there are a huge number of young people who have read/seen the story of Signe and Saga, it's a little dizzying to remember where the fire started. The story has done a lot of good and, like most things in life, it is a series of coincidences that converged and became the catalyst for its creation. But in the book and the movie, the girl is 16 year instead of just under 12.

And I never weighed in on what she was meant to be and do. We talked about it a little. How crazy it was. And that it wasn't her responsibility at all. It was the adults'. Glöm det! Ja, she was definitely going to do that. Because she was a strong girl, and therefore founded in herself she did not depend on praise, but she could be unconcerned and let it flow. If she had cared too much about being loved and appreciated by authority, she might have done what she could to balance her twenty-eight other classmates, which had definitely not benefited her. Tvärtom, it had taught her a pattern that would be very destructive to herself in the long run. A very feminine pattern by the way. The idea that you have responsibility for everyone. To sacrifice oneself for the sake of others. For the sake of the whole and the future. This is usually the very thing that mature women realize they have done far too much when they look exhausted at the shortest straw in their hand.

She didn't. And the other girls also got pretty tough, för den delen.

But Knorra, according to what I've been told, was put on me and didn't buy, like many other schools, into the book A thousand times stronger.

Minsann, the jury thought that A Thousand Times Stronger would take home Storytel's big audiobook prize 2024 in the Youth category. It is so brilliantly read by Ella Schartner, a reading which, in this context, was of course decisive for the price. How fun! And thank you to everyone who took the time to vote for the book so that it made it to the finals.

Eighteen years ago, A Thousand Times Stronger was August nominated and I sat out in the dark in the audience and started there and then really hoping to get it and the prospects were good. But that time nothing happened. As the circumstances were then, it got a little depressing, because just that evening I started losing my hair after a first chemo. In addition, the event was not nearly as welcoming and inclusive as Storytel's and the Visually Impaired Confederation's event at Cirkus. Nej, those of us who lost that time had to walk away stunned to a loud roar ” the winner takes it all”. It was quite insensitive. The winners were already happy. The rest of us got a little extra pressure and we didn't get any food either! Here, at the Circus, we were spoiled with oceans of champagne, seated table and three-course dinner plus party afterwards with disco. That's how it should happen! Everyone should have a chance to celebrate and be happy, regardless of whether you won a prize or not!

Men nu! Eighteen years later! And how many of the books that have received the August Prize in these eighteen years have survived to this point? I actually think so, with perspective ( perspective is always good!) , that this award was more valuable to me. Because it shows that my book, this story, has the power to touch and indeed it must have touched a very large number of young people during those years! It really warms my heart.

Although it is sad that the book is needed. It will be needed for a long time to come.

A couple of years after the book came out, Peter Schildt did ( who has directed Glappet, Ebba & Didrik,m. fl script by me) a long movie, I wrote the script as usual and the film A thousand times stronger has been shown in many countries in different contexts. Thanks to it, I have been to China, South Korea and Jordan, but it has also been shown and received awards in Egypt with several countries and in contexts such as EU women's film week etcetera.

It describes a power structure that, sadly enough, is recognizable just about everywhere and I will never forget the heated discussions that young people have had in countries such as those mentioned, after the screening. I will also never forget the cheers that the young girls spontaneously raised, for example in the scene when Signe stands up, makes himself visible and has the courage to protest – thanks to Saga being sacrificed. When it happened then the film was shown in Amman, both Charlotta Sparre and I started, who was then ambassador to Jordan cry.

And that now, i mars 2024, accept this award – together with Ella Schartner who read the book and who herself had read it at school and since then has carried it with her – gave me back some of the power. Although it is heavy and lonely and offers a lot of resistance and little money, then I could really feel that I had contributed something very important, sometimes even life-changing, for many many people, through this writing.

It's really dizzying. Och konstigt, when loitering around here, under the trees all to himself.

Again, one is also reminded of how important culture is. What power there can be in art. A transformative force. How very very dangerous it is, when culture weakens in a society, in a world where people grow up.

Me and my publisher Karin Kaa Lemon at Bonnier Carlsen. Eighteen years ago, Annika Lunderberg was my editor and Rod Bengtsson my publisher, but Kaa is a safe pillar and open arms, she too!

How FUN it would be if YOU VOTE!

Dear child has many names!

On Friday, my play Mein name ist Erling premieres in Hamburg, at the Winterhuder Fährhaus Theater and as a playwright I enjoy the sudden luxury of being able to travel there plus two hotel nights – paid! I'm taking a good friend with me, who also speaks fluent German.

It is of course fantastic fun that people at this well-known theater have found and become attached to my play, and I have the publisher in Berlin to thank for that, Ulrike Hoffman. I have not crossed two straws for this fun, it came as a surprise.

Erling, or My name is Erling I originally wrote for the radio theater and Peter Schildt directed. The initiative was Gerd Hegnell's and Per Oscarson's, they wanted me to write a piece for them and the idea was that they had a love story when they were young.

To be asked by these wonderful actors was very honoring but I couldn't come up with anything other than fairly conventional ideas like yes, they have had a love story and in the old days they meet again. Men … since then?

Fast one day, when me and my ex-husband were on a years-delayed honeymoon trip to Amsterdam and I discovered for the first time that beer could be good and now lay in a bathtub with my ex-husband and didn't think at all, then the idea came. And so it often is. The ideas come when we are not chasing them. They just kind of fall down, melts into one, like a snowflake, in the moments when you have no defense, or any effort of thought and will.

The idea was quite strange, but you also don't need to have answers to everything when you write. No one has all the answers!

Quite short, Erling is the child they dreamed of together when they were in love, a symbol of their desired future together and the love they then never lived, and all the cozy moments they never had with the dream child. Men, as so often, they did not leave the dream, although in every way they left each other. And as so often, have they nurtured the dream, protected it, hid it and had it as his refuge. ”Där, with THEM I would be much more loving, much more present, much more open, more fun, warmer”, type.

Sometimes incomprehensible things happen. And the dreamed becomes body! Thirty years later. Ett mirakel!

Now the two are standing , who long ago loved each other, but for various earthly reasons opted out of each other, before the materialized dream; Erling.

What will happen? Ja, you have to see the play to get an answer to that.

Erling, in reality, was a white bull calf that I took care of when I was quite young. He followed me everywhere and he understood when I was sad, just like dogs do. Then he came and buffed me with his smooth mule. He had big brown eyes, long eyelashes and white fur with beige spots. When it rained, I put a raincoat over him and sometimes we even cuddled in the grass. When he was two years old, he was a badass with dangerous horns. In his smallest movement there was such force that one could be knocked over. But he came to me when I called out and pressed his forehead against me, stayed with me for so long, we together, man and bull.

Then he was transported to the slaughterhouse. But the farmer had spared him an extra long time. Very sad. He was a miracle. Like all other animals. Which we use in different ways, without perceiving …. the miracle.

I have seen the play Erling in Spain, German, Uruguay and Colombia. It has also been played in France and Brazil. It is very exciting to sit in the audience and follow the reactions. There is a lot of laughter. Det är meningen. Men sedan, suddenly , sadness falls down, the pain and the sadness, the realization of how bad we are at actually expressing love, act in love and be in our now. Afterwards, people rush home, reawakened in their appreciation of what they have in their lives, which they forget to see, forget to even perceive. As it is for all of us.

At the premiere in Montevideo, Uruguay, a famous psychologist told me that I had managed to describe life's big questions in an hour with this strange story. ”Jaha?” I said surprised. But then I thought about it a bit and yes, maybe that's right.

But that happens best when you don't look for it. I don't think the story would have been possible if I had thought in advance that I had to write something about life's big questions in a single hour. That's not how it works.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen to all the people who have all their attention in their mobiles.

If you sit on the subway and watch the others: everyone sits with bowed heads engrossed in their mobiles. in principle all!

In the playgrounds, parents stand and rock their toddlers, while behind their backs they stare into their mobiles. When the children go to school, they go and look down at their cell phones. When people are out walking their dogs, they look at their mobile phones. When people have outings, they look at their mobiles. If they sit together and have coffee, they look at their mobile phones. If they have a break on the construction site, they sit quietly next to each other and look at their mobile phones. When they ride their bikes, they look at their mobiles, when they drive, they look at their mobiles, when they lie in the hammock they look at their mobiles.

Small children sitting in prams look down at toads or at mobiles. It looks like everyone is sick and chained to a vital instrument that gives them the power to walk around. That's probably what you would think if you saw them from the outside and didn't know. As if everyone were unfit for life and therefore of necessity had to focus on their mobile drop positions.

Why are they walking around like that?, all with bowed necks, out of reach for his now? It's sad to talk about it, about how brains are affected by it, how life in its entirety and extension fades and shrinks and mentally becomes crippled. We know that the brain is triggered by it, that the brain's reward system is falsely rewarded, that our curiosity is kidnapped. We are brainnapped.

It also seems rather boring. What do we live for??

In Sweden, digitization is successful, so we will be extra stupid here. There will always be children who develop into a kind of elite and these will be the individuals who have limited their screen use and not become addicted. It will be those who are trained to write by hand, in preparing works with paper and pencil, those taught by dedicated teachers present who can answer questions or show how to find out what you want to know – without always referring to google – while they will be trained in dealing with the digital world. All research shows that learning and memory work many times better if the entire process consists of listening, reading and writing down by hand with body and brain is activated than if you read things on a screen. With the senses of one's body, one also conquers theoretical knowledge and when one's being is engaged in this way, the feeling of satisfaction also rises, desire and curiosity for more. It is simply active, instead of passively. It will be those who live with adults who actively wonder how their days have been, who speaks to them, adults who together with their children share each other's thoughts and experiences – PRESENT. The benefits and qualities that these children will receive – which have hitherto been natural in being formed into man – will be impossible for the others to grasp.

The future elite will also have greater access to independent work, in the form of the art of using paper and pencil, also be those who exercise their body. Those who dance, practicing sports, springer. And those who play. Who use whims and ideas that come to them as they play. Who experiences the desire, the togetherness, breathing, the scents, the substrate, matter, the air, the exhausts, the physical touches – in the game. And it will be the children who learned music. Learned to sing, learned to handle an instrument. When the municipal music school existed where you had a place secured semester after semester, an invaluable foundation was laid for many children , a foundation of self-confidence and insight into the power of boring repetition to achieve goals and enjoy that work. The children who are allowed to stay in these arenas, will be armed.

The children who are deceived by their parents' mental presence will find their escape routes from an incomprehensible reality into the worlds of the screens. According to research, a childhood with a physically present parent who is mentally absent is in their screens, as harmful as growing up with an alcoholic or drug-addicted parent. They are there, but they are still not there at all. Can you imagine anything more eerie, for a small child?

The children are at risk of losing in a long series of areas that I don't want to enumerate, it's just something to think about. What paths do they take as adults? What crises of alienation and emptiness will this deep screen addiction create? What will build their inner world, their morals, ethic, their values, their longing and will, their ability to meet, to want to meet, to dare to live, to believe that life is worth exploring?

Technology has always scared the old, kan man säga, but technology has not occupied brains before, not in this way. And when you know that the creators behind games and social media do not let their children use them more than very limited, well aware of what they have created, Well, at least it's food for thought even for the most tech-savvy?

I'm thinking about this, when I stroll around in reality and observe the others without them noticing.

The play THE DESTROYER, ” freely based on Christina Herrström's book” by Lisa Lindén, directed by Kickan Holmberg and with the magnificent Maria Kulle on stage, travels through the country and fills the salons.

It's pretty amazing, In many ways. But the very best thing about it is that the message about psychological violence is getting out, and lands. Every evening, Maria Kulle receives a standing ovation from the audience, of course for his absolutely outstanding performance, but also for the play's content. The combination is overpowering, many testify that they do not want the evening to end, even if it is unpleasant. But it's so good! And it gives so much strength to understand that you CAN get out of this kind of devastating abuse, where the brain is systematically torn apart. And you CAN talk about it, you SHOULD talk about it, for it is behind the dominant silence that these abuses can take place, om och om igen. And they will happen, for people of Sam's kind come unceasingly in different vintages, operates in different contexts, with different purposes – but it will happen, om och om igen.

To start TALK about the phenomenon, to dare to SEE it, to start thinking about it, reason about it in a serious way, in a slightly more knowledgeable way, than the prejudiced, spectacular and judgmental which are the most common , it is VITAL. You who don't think you're vulnerable, is already a promising victim. Who would think that one is vulnerable to such things? Not me anyway. Aldrig.

Partly because I completely lacked knowledge. It's all basic psychology really. no major weirdness. The weird, for us ordinary healthy people with a healthy attitude towards others and towards central concepts such as loyalty, reciprocity, humanity and honor, is that none of that we learned, none of which we regard without reflection as fundamental, applies when dealing with people of Sam's kind. And unfortunately, Often, we forget that they also exist as women. And children.

They act according to their heart already in childhood, in adolescence. The injury in question, which basically means that one lacks affective empathy, is innate. It can charge due to circumstances and become really dangerous to others ( even if it is not noticeable outwardly. Sam was according to the investigation of the outpatient care that was done on him ” very dangerous to other people”, which the councilor read out ) , but it can also be dampened to a certain extent by e.g. growing up environment , but never disappear. It explains that so many people encounter people with these traits, they exist in varying degrees.

Personally, I am very happy that the play has come to be. The story takes on another form, a way to reach out. It was the whole purpose of writing the book that was breaking me: share with me a human experience that is not often described from the inside and that is burdened with huge piles of prejudice ( against the victims ) and rubble – and thereby shed light on the shit.

Naturally, I opted out of large layers and directions and levels and thoughts surrounding fate, already when I wrote the book because otherwise it would be an unreadable collection of text. And when that text, already, so to speak, thinned out of all layers of reality, then processed into a play that should work in two hours, of course it will still be ” sexier” in some ways. But it does not matter, it fulfills its purpose, and the play must advance FAST to get to the point, into GREPPET. If I had written the play, I would have immersed myself in the psychological game and you would have had to sit for eight hours. Lisa Lindén has done a very good adaptation of the book, efficient, knowledgable and it turned out much better than if I had tried it myself, which I didn't want. This was MUCH better, thank you Lisa, Kickan and Maria!

All of the real Christina's tenacious fight against the perpetrator and long resistance before he got his claws into me didn't fit in the book, and even less so in the play. So it is with culture, it cannot provide all the layers that the human psyche playing with other human psyches reality contains, but it is enough as it is. With their inner layers, the recipients can understand more than what is literally seen and said. Isn't that amazing?

I have to exclaim again: what a decisive force culture has for us! And how is it possible that it is such a low priority? Hur är det möjligt?

One can only take the book and the play The Destroyer as examples. So many like this story has helped, and enriched. What silence the opposite had been. And such a waste it had been of life knowledge. I already know, I have received letters about it, that the book has SAVED people!

The play The Destroyer meets, as said, of standing ovations and glowing criticism everywhere. I read the criticism in the Corren, after another fantastic performance in Linköping. Mycket bra. It is quite striking that I am no longer called ” idiot” as in the reviews of the book. Där ser man, something in the public consciousness has matured. But in the review in Corren there is still a line that is startling, in the middle of the wise, a line so to speak ” explaining” that the risk of encountering perpetrators with psychological violence as a weapon is more likely if you have ” a drive to submission.”

That is a very good wording. DRIVE FOR SUBMISSION. I will use that phrase from now on, when I talk about prejudices about victims of psychopathically damaged people. I usually say a lot of other things, but this phrase sums up precisely the prejudice which is so strong – and so dangerous. And which contributes to the victims remaining silent.

Nej, it really takes no drive to submission, and in the middle of the review I am quite surprised, because that is EXACTLY what I have tried to describe in the book- and even so it is described in the play- it does not NEED a self-destructive drive to suffer psychological violence. That is EXACTLY WHAT people generally BELIEVE, that is exactly what makes me write in the front page

”if you think you are going safe, you are already a commendable prey”

The submission comes after a period of methodical exercise of psychological violence. One way or another it happens, because of the psychopathic person's violence. In my case, I never showed him any signs of it – I kept my cool on the surface the whole time – but he knew he had power over me by borrowing my money. It forces a submission. Eller snarare, an addiction. That's what they're good at, to force the other's powerlessness. That is what psychological violence is.

Och – they are drawn to strong individuals, because the effect of the violence gives a greater kick.

NOTE, because it is IMPORTANT!

I feel like telling about myself. Would that I of all had a drive to submission? Allow me to smile, as it is called.

Nej, I will not go into describing my life choices in general, it gets a little silly, men hahaha, säger jag bara. That's aside from my personal reaction, however, unfortunate that such an ignorant phrase appears again in context. Not for me, but for everyone else, who may continue to believe that it is such a drive that attracts psychopathic individuals.

THE DESTROYER will be played for a couple more weeks:

21 april ( tonight) EASTERN SUND

24 April ÖDÅKER/TIMRÅ

26 April ÖRNSKÖLDSVIK

27 April UMEÅ

29 April MALÅ

2 May SKELLEFTEÅ

4 May CALYX

5 May ÖVERTORNEÅ

And last but not least; what an ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL facility the RIKSTEATERN is, imagine such a BRILLIANT business to provide the whole of Sweden with THEATER. Truly something to be PROUD of!

””

"you laugh and cry and even if you laugh so hard you cry, it's a deeply existential play from beginning to end"  audience vote 
 

There are brave theater managers!

Gunilla Röör at Norrbottensteatern is definitely one of them.

There are not many people who dare to give space on their big stage to a completely unperformed play by a Swedish playwright, a play that is not realistically recognizable in everyday life, but is treacherously easy to read, absurd and can be perceived as meaningless chatter. That's how my scripts are usually perceived, until they are shaped.

Seeing through the lightness of the text is not for everyone, but if one has dramatic imagination and life experience it is possible! And Gunilla Röör and her outstanding ensemble at Norrbottensteatern did it! They read and told me something amazing: they LOVED the play!

I was about to give it up and let it remain in the dark where it had been since I wrote it for 21 years ago. Certainly it has been read a couple of times over the years, partly at the theater that commissioned it but didn't stage it, and by other ensembles and the occasional freelance director. It always seems to appeal to directors but above all actors but so far not theater managers. probably because they have to think commercially and also have to get the theater's board on board, which is not always easy, because they prefer to bet on safe cards.

But then Gunilla Röör came!

And set the play in motion with all the energy and now it meets the audience and the audience is engaged, enthusiastic, surprised, listening – they are laughing – and it's wonderful and when the more serious layers of the play are exposed the excitement is high and they thank the actors with standing ovations and cheers. They shout that the play is great. They have been part of something, something they didn't realize when they settled into their seats.

For me, it is of course absolutely essential to see that my text works. That it can be transformed into very funny and touching theatre. The play is funny, poetically, crazy and at the same time very sad. Actually, it's a kind of absurd grief play, but packed with love, all that love we carry inside and that we never express because wine doesn't HAVE TIME or doesn't DARE or doesn't have a YOU to love. Or because we may have unreasonable expectations of each other, on life, on love?

It was simply awful fun to see the play, I've seen it twice now and it's clear that with such a vivid text, as they themselves say, it constantly changes a little depending on the audience's response, depending on how the words come out of the mouth, depending on the rhythm and emphasis of the evening. and it's amazing. After every gig, said Gunilla Röör, the audience comes forward and tells what it's about and it's always different things. Because everyone can see their own in it. All the characters in the play are lovable as they struggle with their dreams and shortcomings.

I am glad that the actors enjoy playing the text ” your wonderful text!” , and I am glad that this text flies all the way forward and into the audience! For me this is theatre! for me, theater is not a depiction of a reality as we all know it ” should ” look to be ” konst”. I think that's boring.

I am so happy that the audience, several hundred people every evening, seems to share my opinion. This is ( ALSO ) teater! Not everything has to be like Norén, Fosse or the classics. Alltså, precisely this to SEE that it works… it makes me very inspired, because it actually means that many of the more cautious theater managers may be slightly mistaken in the idea that audiences always want something well-known and recognizable. In the audience I met in Luleå, there was definitely an open attitude, welcoming, nyfiken, and willing to go along with a piece of drama with slightly different content than expected. The second note, which I prefer, which is a little twisted but still rooted in life's pain and love, it works! But what an ensemble – high-class look in all fingers ! And so wonderful with a director. Sara Giese, who had the courage to take on Guinea Pig Nights. First of all, it's fun, but after a while the actors discover the deeper layers during the rehearsal time, and yet it must be served in a tone not that to which we have been accustomed, which sounds like ” real”. The seriousness should come across despite the loftiness. A whirr. Det är bra. I like that. And I strive for that. And IT works ! and it is an interesting challenge for the actors! They fix it!!! But it is clear that any text can fall flat to the ground in the wrong hands – but at Norrbottensteatern Marsvinsnätter has ended up in excellent hands, for its brilliant premiere! The proof of that is the audience's enthusiasm!

För mig, as a playwright, is it perfect…. perfectly…. wonderfully!

surprises me.

Even when I was in my teens, you could see others ( teenagers) make-up on the bus and subway, but nowadays even grown women do it. They even pluck their eyebrows. You wait with horror for them to start pulling out the nose hairs too. Everything happens with intense frenzy and they have everything with them ( probably only a quarter) makeup bag. One can sit and observe their transformation or desire for transformation in detail, without them seeming in the slightest to notice that there is an environment there. In a sense, there is no environment, because basically everyone is looking down at their mobiles. Everyone is in their own bubble.

Sometimes aunties sit and do manicures. They happily file their nails inwardly. They puff away their nail deposits in the form of fine flour away from them, towards others, that is, their fellow passengers. It can be aunties who look the most record-breaking. That really surprises me. One day you will probably see your fellow passengers take the opportunity to take a foot bath between their stations, why not, where is the line? They also spray their hair. Spray spray spray.

But the most common thing that women do in public is clean their hair. With slow movements, they run their fingers through the hair, brushing off the loose hair that gets stuck, straight out into the public hallway, or at the seat next to you. Elegant bouncing movements, with a bit of distaste.

My aversion to this private behavior has nothing to do with age, which one might believe. I have always been appalled by people's self-centered behavior in places we share. I don't understand it. But everything has perhaps loosened up even more since we started talking widely about our private affairs in public places. A friend overheard a mother venting about her son and his private concerns. An entire subway car got an insight into the son's very personal problems. Strangely enough, many people don't seem to trust the technology and turn up their conversational voice a few notches extra so that everyone can participate. It is completely incomprehensible. Embarassing. And how can a mother leave her son like that. Ja, that happens all the time. People leave family, colleges, partners, barn, themselves continuously with no idea who is listening.

One day when I came walking, wearing winter overalls and in the company of snow-soaked dogs with icicles in their beards, I met a man who said:

”Excuse, does the lady know what time it is?”

Then I remembered the big concept ” artighet”. And the value of it. That politeness is about respect and consideration – i grunden. The reason why politeness is important to maintain is in any case to protect these values ​​in practice: respect for others and consideration, deference.

It doesn't work automatically, it must be taught. The one who can't, lose in the long run. It's a skill, a condition and it is a good service to teach it to one's children.

It was very nice to be treated politely. Although it seems like a pettiness, it is an absolute way not to arouse anger, bitterness, irritation. It is a flexible way of dealing with fellow human beings, and spread relief, calmness and balance around him. Since politeness is quite uncommon, it even brings joy to some.

Politeness can lead very wrong. Being a polite girl can be downright life-threatening in certain situations. When the demand for politeness confuses the inner compass and integrity. But usually it is about undramatic episodes.

I think Swedes in general have been a pretty rude people. And it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Cleaning your hair in public places is … obnoxious. Faktiskt. Not as disgusting as cutting your nails in public. But the step is not far. I don't want to be other people's background like that. Forced to listen to their talk, watch their makeup in progress, get their hair and nail polish on me. It is strange, many are so sickly aware of how they act and speak and look, yet it is so easy for them to deal with hygiene in public and expose their privacy and that of others.

But of course, most others sit in their own bubbles, absorbed in their mobile phones and notice nothing of what is happening around them. I do not. I look around. I guess I'll just end it. Sucked into the mobile's all alternative places for my consciousness to reside. Stop being in the moment. Like so many others.

What an audience!

What a masterful Maria Kulle!

Regi, manus , set designers - bravo!

What a great review of
Pia Huss i DN!

Now the play Destroyer after my book of the same name will roll out in the country. Check out the National Theater, look for the tour schedule. Maybe it will come to your location!

The National Theater is a fantastic invention. Theater for everyone. Very impressive idea that works so well.

Soon I will be leaving for the next important premiere, but next time to attend a premiere of my own work Porpoise Nights. It will be so exciting!