Those who came before…
Thoughts for the day Mars 2021
My dad told me so much about our family. He genealogy already as a child and talked to those who were old at 1930 talet. He carried with him who came before us, their names and fate. Their fate is parts of how my life is built, they give resonance to my life. A sound that from a gong gong, A vibrating long echo consisting of many layers of tones.
When Dad met a new man, he mapped their pedigree and often came to the conclusion that we were related. I understood that we are all woven together with invisible thread. I also understood what an incredible coincidence is that one even exists. Our existence is determined by coincidences, Small displacements, delays, Early arrivals, a moment's distraction or a second when one looked up without reason and saw another, any man struck with, meetings that have given new generations. I learned wonder before life, tiden, the rhythm and an insight into the power of the moment.
But sometimes you suddenly and intensely get tired of life and want to lie down and dissolve. One does not have to be depressed to feel “I can no more! I don't want to!“One can be overpowered by hopelessness to be insignificant in everyday life. In a convinced moment you want to go to pieces and never have to gather again.
At difficult times, the feeling is a bordee and the wound of life, after all, a eerie meaninglessness.
Then it is good to remember those who came before. These people have existed, Obviously as I now even if only their names and years remain. But when I remember their name, moving their fate within me, Flamms to, glow. And that which has been their daily struggle. There are many generations of sea captains in my background. They traveled all over the world on three -masted ships, partly privileged but completely extradited to the wildest forces of nature, As when their ship was about to be lost in storm outside Peru. And the long stretches over the ocean must have been filled with daily hardships I can't even imagine. They have been able to. Not to mention the generations of farmers. Their bodies and dreams torn off the earth. They have frozen, svultit, worked with the gear of that time, Without electricity, drains and running water and so much we take for granted. How often may it have felt “no, I can not take it!"My grandmother's father was a boy,traveled to America and dug gold, came home after five years and bought a farm for his family. He made sure that all the daughters received higher education, In a time when it was not included in the women's ideal. He succeeded. The endurance that drove my ancestors cannot be neglected when life is courageous.
I can feel their power. The endurance that is life faithful. Their struggle for something that has always been a diffuse future. In their diffuse future I am, nu, I'm a random consequence of them. One day only my name remains, year of birth, year of death. But those who come after me should be able to get the power of the one who was I never gave up, Just like those who came before me cast endurance, dignity and courage in me.
