News morning on Thursday 23 februari

The reason, of course, is my wonderful large poodle 8 årsdag! It should be celebrated! You are welcome to contribute gifts of all kinds except liver slices because he rates them, as well as toothpicks.

What would I be without Rufus! So much he has given me, showed me and made me realize these 8 år! A good dog, a good relationship with a four-legged animal, it is worth a lot, yea, even so that in certain phases of a human life they may be of greater use than talking men. Så är det.

Maria Kulle and I visit the sofa on Thursday's Nyhetmorgon to talk about Friday's premiere of The Destroyer. It is, of course, very good that the Destroyer is being noticed in this way because we need to talk more about psychological violence in our society. The victims are many and it all costs money, om inte annat.

I knew nothing about this until I was methodically worn down by it.

He was skilled, he had it in him, that people with psychopathic personality disorders have, but he also studied it extra! In his psychopathic spare time. He took various courses in manipulating other people, one of them was called ” Stealing the spirit” and existed in the form of a whole pile of videocassettes in the basement. Another was hypnosis – and not just any hypnosis, but with the stated enticing matter of taking power over the will of others in order to overcome sex, pengar, wealth, as it said in the American cover. I found this when we finally got him out.

We also found a number on a DVD left behind ” lessons ” in how to win sex from uninterested women.

Except he was constantly practicing his skills on just about everyone in his various arenas. which is completely natural when you are a person with a psychopathic disorder, because all others are only tools for oneself, and one lacks feelings of regret , debt , responsibility and honor. One lacks affective empathy. But you understand empathy, so one is skilled at playing on it and with it, with the rest of us who are more normal minded.

But there is, of course, psychological violence practiced in a different way than this methodical one, originating in a miswired brain, which is therefore not possible to heal. There is a palette of psychological violence and regardless of its origin, it must be lifted – just as they have worked for decades to expose what sexual violence really is and to spread the understanding that the victims are not complicit , may even have to blame themselves for having been subjected to violence. It has taken decades to work through old prejudices, ideas and deeply imprinted wrong conclusions – the same thing must happen with the psychological violence.

So it's simply great that the Destroyer now also exists as a piece, and that in this way it can reach new and perhaps different audiences and also reach the recipients in a more immediate way, than the strenuous reading of 586 pages.

Maria Kulle, on stage in The Destroyer, and I will sit around for a while 08.45 in NEWS MORNING'S couch the 23 februari.

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Photo project, lecture and premiere

Camilla Hanve ( artist and photographer)

Camilla Hanve photographs women for her project on the theme ”SCARS and HEALING” which will be exhibited this spring. I was asked to join. Because I've written a blog before about having breast cancer and it's also written in my book The Destroyer, I thought ok, maybe it doesn't matter that I'm in it. It's not so private anymore. And apparently the photos have already had meaning for others who will be scarred, or have it. My scar is now decorated with a blossoming apple branch. Because if ”the world is ending tomorrow, plant an apple tree today.”

I am happy about the beautiful tattoo that Jens Bergström at Heavenly Ink has drawn and tattooed. It was important to me, I realize more and more. With this apple branch, I have said the last word, after a total of eight operations since 2006.

The day Camilla photographed me, there was a lot of giggles and play among lace and veils and shawls in the environment we had chosen. Besides, we had long said that we would toast in a glass of champagne for life, to despite adversity, sorrows , diseases and other challenges that are part of the human experience, one continues, with the flag waving as high as you can. And if you are lucky enough to be good at marveling at what is beautiful, which is poetry, which is joy and deeply recharges one's spark of life and strength almost every day. To have the ability to marvel at the greatness of life, which usually manifests itself in the so-called small, is now considered one of the prerequisites for a good life. Like exercise and good food. It is an art to cherish. If you don't know it, you can practice it. For my own part, I have always been able to. And through life it has been refined. It makes one very grateful, and quite cheerful.

That joy rests, of course, on the realization of impermanence and fragility. Ingenting är självklart. Of the years when the destroyer, the person Sam with psychopathic disorder, used all his typical psychopathic behaviors to get over what he wanted and try to crush me – I learned that freedom is a stretchable concept. And that the most important freedom, which is the basis of all freedom, was not something I had reflected on before. But as I now experienced. The freedom to meet others, and not least the ones you love, as himself. The freedom to have access to one's own thoughts. The freedom to trust one's perception. The freedom to still understand words correctly. The freedom to trust your logic. The freedom to move. The freedom to be able to look into another person's eyes for a long time without being forced to break contact, for fear of breaking. And if you fall short, you are subject to revenge.

But our psyche is remarkable , like our body : we have life, so we want to live. It has little to do with anything other than that we have the impersonal but eternal LIFE within us.

As long as we can have it.

But I cannot speak for everyone and all the indescribably brutal suffering people inflict on others. and in many situations in people's lives nothing of what can be called good exists, and to claim it would be idiotic. A long time ago I read Erich Fromm, which I loved to read, and in the book ” Is man evil or good?” he writes that everything we can imagine of evil has already happened. I found it so terribly terrifying. It's horrible. Then I was just over 20, and believed that humans wanted to evolve, always strive for the best for everyone, basically acted on my own high ideals. It's not like that. Indescribable evil exists in parallel, and comes out of others – with life.

That includes people with psychopathic personality disorders. We see them ruling the lives of millions of people – varje dag. And in a few days it will be a year since we were forced to realize the devastation of such power, close up. We don't know the outcome.

In addition to Camilla Hanve's photo project, I have put together a talk about the Destroyer ,i.e. the book that I wrote to spread knowledge about psychopathic behavior after I suffered from it, a psychological violence like most of us, including myself, never thought could happen to me.

But I have given up on that project – almost! Det går inte. Det är för mycket, too many layers, too many dimensions, and too many facts I want to convey, at the same time as I want to convey something of what the book describes, that is, how it slowly, bit by bit could happen. It is interesting and important to describe. I have had a few suggestions now and they do work well, and sometimes I get heartfelt thanks as if I've done something important, but I myself feel that it is … so there. I never wrote the book to put myself in the center. My experience was the tool to be able to describe an event like this from the inside. But during lectures, it becomes as if I were myself – as well as ME – shopping in a center I don't want to be in, as if I am speaking of this to arouse sympathy, or because I imagine it was so special. And then I feel that the purpose of everything ends up a bit skewed.

Maybe it was enough that I wrote the book. It was hell but it is very useful, just as i hoped. Until today, almost 2.000 people wrote to me and thanked me for it. It has helped many who have experienced similar psychological violence, and it has helped others to understand how it can be done. Something that is very difficult to understand. As I write in the book ” if you think you're going safe, you're already a promising and enticing prey” It is important that the silence around the psychological violence – and not least around the charged topic of psychopathic personality disorders – is lifted . Behind the silence and shaming, the ridicule of the victim ( som ” deceived by a clown” och ” idiot” and other toxic language ) There is a lot of room for violence. Knowledge about this must be spread. By shaming the victims, you go the perpetrators' business. In addition, you believe yourself to be someone who walks safely.

Now the premiere of the play ÖDELÄGGAREN is approaching, written by Lisa Lindén based on the book. Maria Kulle, one of our most amazing actors, is on stage and Karin Kickan Holmberg directs. The National Theater produces and the play will visit 33 locations in Sweden during the spring.

By pure coincidence, the play premiered exactly nine years ago when my ex-husband and I went to the police station on Wolmar Yxkullsgatan in Södermalm with our 24 pages thick notification.

Nine years later; premiere at Årsta Folkets Hus on 24 februari.

As life weaves things together. No dramatist surpasses life.

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Has anyone had to make a butter knife as an adult?

Butter knife

It is perhaps a blind spot in school teaching, but amazingly, the children still get to make butter knives in the wooden shed.

Shouldn't school prepare for adult life??

Shouldn't the school protect creativity??

How many people have suddenly in their adult life been faced with the thorny question of how best to get a butter knife into the household? And what has probably then, basically, all done, except those who have woodworking as a hobby?

And if they were to take hold of a block of wood, could they chisel a butter knife out of it?

Besides, they were about nine, ten years when they had butter knife on the schedule.

A mystery, tycker jag.

In the practical subjects, one could otherwise imagine that the school would teach things that everyone knows that everyone will benefit from one day. Like drilling holes in different kinds of walls. With different types of screws and plugs. Drill up shelves straight! It would be something to learn. Or build some simple furniture, like a chair, or stool or shoe rack? Assemble furniture, inte minst, would be beneficial to exercise! Put up roller blinds and curtain rods? If you are still into wood, why not learn how to make bonfires the right way? But a butter knife?

The small children's woodworking lessons should instead give room for something creative, like painting, dans, teater, musik. Before, all schools had choirs, something that only schools with music classes seem to have these days, because it costs money to have a choir. Singing in a choir is a great exercise in collaboration, listening, discipline and joy, which creates community. Instead, they make butter knives.

It is more important, anser jag, that children can learn to become secure in their various possibilities of expression, in what makes us human. And in that case, the natural creativity and play that everyone has from the beginning would, given the opportunity to follow them through life and provide support, comfort, styrka, possibility. It is more important that children become secure in their bodies, movements, voices, its rhythm, his desire to dance, sing, paint than they sew cross-stitches and sharpen butter knives! Except that those who have continued access to and had the opportunity to develop and deepen their very own contact with their very own creativity – will be happier. Because they will have tools when life is difficult to manage their thinking, their actions, its perspective. They will always be able to find comfort, affinity, and relief in his own inner treasure, the one we are all born with. They will have more opportunity to think critically, be fearless, care less about superficial things such as position and status and thus dare to be questioning, be harder to coax into comfortable silence. They will create new inventions, think of alternative routes, open doors that no one else has seen.

An individual's creative base creates strong, safe citizens of society – as you want in a democracy. Isn't it incomprehensible that in a modern society with all the knowledge we have about the brain, learning and creativity – deprives the children of that space , often already in fourth grade?

And then, before taking the step to adulthood, then you would have to learn to drill up shelves straight, and sewing curtains, repair holes and change clothes. Just imagine all the little students who have come home with butter knives over the years, stand prostrate a decade later in front of a wall.

If the subject of woodwork is part of preserving respect for fine craft tradition, Certainly, why not get to try all that and MORE, and also get to visit various craftsmen, as silversmiths, glassblower, weaver, seamstresses and tailors? Men… I don't think the subject remains for that reason. Why not give the measly hours to more creativity, to the growing ones?

Dessutom, in a democracy like ours, one wonders why not all children learn basic law and economics? Money and laws. Money and laws.

That's what I wonder when I see a butter knife.

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A wonderful Christmas present in the morning rush

One morning before Christmas on the way to Stockholm Central, with my dogs and my luggage, sweaty, pushed and stressed, I stepped out of the subway onto the T together with hundreds of others- The central's overcrowded platform and gave a hasty, and friendly – because I'm usually friendly – glance at one of SL- the hosts who stood at the subway doors to oversee security. With my dogs, I can't ride the escalator so dragging the luggage, with the big dog eagerly pulling upwards and the small one anxiously pulling downwards, fully occupied with keeping the balance and trying to move on, I heard a voice below on the stairs.

”Excuse!”

What now, tänkte jag, you can't do it like this, tänkte jag. Fresh in my mind was the early evening when several security guards came after me and my little five-year-old grandson for carrying his little scooter, which he, despite his young age did not get. They felt compelled to reject us, he was tired and sad and now I thought ” but damn, is anyone going to complain now again?” Mycket riktigt, when I turned around, stood the SL host there. ” Vadå? ” sa jag, over the shoulder, not completely reversed. She took another step up the stairs and said ” Are you Christina??”

”Ja?”, I answered very poof, trying to figure out if I knew the woman in front of me.

”Förlåt, but I have read your book. Ödeläggaren. And I just want to thank you for your courage. I want to thank you from me and everyone else out there for writing it.”

I was speechless. We both looked at each other with equally wide and open eyes. She on me, me on her.

”You are so brave and I just want to say that there are many of us who are grateful for that. Out here. You should know that. What you have done means a lot. ”

I was overwhelmed and just trying to take in what she was saying.

”So thank you, Christina.”

”Men … thanks. Heartfelt thanks! Deg is important for me to hear. That's what I wanted to write the book. Help others. Tack!”

We just stood there and looked at each other, a warm light arose between us.

”But who are you?”

”Marie. One of those who follow you. I'm glad I got to say it. You are needed.”

I pulled her close to me, in the middle of the stairs, in the crowd, while the big dog pulled up and the little one down and the luggage wobbled between. We held each other deeply, heartily. And said in each other's ears that we wished everything well, på riktigt, all's Well.

Dazed and with a damp cloud over his eyes, I continued towards my train, in the hustle and bustle and she, Marie, continued to his. Such a gift! It was as if a light had fallen into me, I was giddy with gratitude, love and movement. Gratitude that I managed to write that book, and because what it says helps, på riktigt, andra människor. After this quick meeting I was filled with revitalized gratitude that something so constructive, important and great could be the consequence of Sam's deed against me and mine. And humility, before the strength I have received, which is that I could write about it. I was convinced it was important, more important than anyone who had not yet experienced anything like it could understand. Trots allt, there was enough will to support me in making that difficult book a reality. It's a victory. I feel humility. For those who have been able to take the book to heart, felt strengthened.
What happened there, in the stairs, I will never forget.

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FINALLY GOOD TV- DRAMATIC

This is how it is,

Over the years, I have become almost allergic to most Swedish TV- dramatic, because it very rarely feels like it's really done for live viewers. The dialogues are mostly so boring that commercial dialogues are better, the tone is monotonous and there is a dull feeling about it all, the feeling of trying to sound like i ” real” which, in the first place, is not the task of art, and secondly, an untalented disillusioned interpretation of how ” real ” allows, which has become somewhat of a general tone in TV- series after TV- serie. I think it's sad. oh, I'm generalizing a bit but not too much. Even in the popular series ” Our time is now” this monotonous tone settled over the dialogues, which only occasionally sprung with a little life.

As for drama for young people ( all categories except perhaps for the very smallest ) so the tone is often heated, lines are shouted out at high volume and too fast, the dialogues full of references that are incomprehensible to most children but that their brains still have to rake through to search for meaning and logic in what is being delivered. ( not least in animated series – why?) Simply put, it's stressful, as if you believe that children should be treated at a fast pace, high volume and shout just because they sometimes behave like that themselves. Do you think it is ” roligt” och ” capturing” – how much do people who make television for children really know ABOUT CHILDREN?

I always check a few episodes of the Christmas calendar every year to see if there is possibly something that can be enchanted, attracts, and who meet the young viewers with obvious respect, and is not lousy in the hopeless way I described above. This year I have – and so many with me – really pleasantly surprised! The Crown Prince who disappeared is well written and well directed! The scenes are good, fun, interesting , enticing to see, listen to and to follow forward -. one is amazed! As a playwright, you see that this is well worked out, it is written with pleasure and joy, and intelligence, with a willingness to communicate, reach their viewers, listener. The acting is good on all fronts and the kids are very good – which is absolutely unusual as many productions seem to be fine with the line deliverers simply being children.

This director knows what he's doing! Here we get to see a lot of live games, with integrity and respect, and warmth and humor. I sit and cheer on the sofa in the morning with joy and surprise : think that this kind of television can be made today? That for once they seem to have understood the value of a good script, of good direction and editing? How is it that you suddenly manage to appeal to the audience in this way, when otherwise often some kind of mumbling is delivered – for children screaming – which you have to put in a lot of effort to succeed in arousing interest in , because you don't even feel invited.

So I am basically ALWAYS led to the tone that should be ” reality” , to show, the talk, the attitudes to be similar ” real ” and as Swedish tV- drama seems to have made it his signature, a style that makes the acting so terribly uninteresting, also the dialogues and thus
ALL OF IT.

But now! THE CHRISTMAS CALENDAR. Whoa!

That's a good sign in many ways. Above all, fun for the children to finally be offered something really good and appealing and fun and well done and exciting. Dessutom, if their adults are also curious and want to follow the story for their own interest, We immediately have something to share – which goes well without coming along ” funny things” which should appeal to the adult audience ( ridiculously!) – it is enough that it is well done, that it is imbued with a genuine desire to TELL as well as possible.

But imagine if things could turn around now, the tråkton trend in Swedish TV- dramatic?

I will never write for TV again. Many people ask, they want me to write something like Ebba and Didrik, or the gap. Men det går inte, because all ideas die as soon as you start talking about them. They must be inserted into different templates to be presented in these straitjacket templates to be pitched to the highest power and manglased between different instances and levels and layers before it can even come to a possible order and all the time you have to have others poking at your creation – this when you yourself are ON THE WAY INTO the world your creative brain has delivered and which you do not yet know everything about , because it is the creation process itself that teaches you that – and there will be styluses, formulas, points and requirements…in any case, I have completely lost the desire to be part of such a desire-killing grief. Everything becomes flattened and anxious, even if it is dressed in ” of reality ” disillusioned bitterness to be ” recognizable” eller ” in time”. The freedom of a playwright ( screenwriter as we are more often referred to – a word that sounds like a common writer and lacks esprit!) writing our unique stories without pointers and rules is, in my impression and that of many others, GONE. ( we are a few who wrote big hits for TV that still live on in the hearts of the audience, but none of us is up to writing TV according to today's anxious terms of use. )

But here, here it has succeeded on all levels! And that really makes me HAPPY. Som sagt, mainly for the sake of the expectant children, who hunger to get their longing for quality ( one collective word too many, basically respect for their audience) satisfied. By that I mean:

For example: You can think you see each other. But there is a HUGE difference in looking into another's eyes, or to look into another's eyes. A simple way for me to describe ”quality”…

Förresten, and now I swing to the screen, but Ruben Östlund's TRIANGLE of SADNESS….. was also a wonderful surprise! Good scenes, underbara! – dialog, game, a swirling feeling of being taken by the hand of the narrator, order, come along on a journey into this story. That is, there is a WILL to communicate, catch, locka, and dim down with some glowing grain into some living and curious and slumbering condition within the viewer.

Tro det eller ej, if good actors are given good dialogue, they will be VERY GOOD, sometimes INCREDIBLY GOOD and the story COMES TO SPARKLING and MULTI-FACETED LIFE- which should be the meaning and intention of it all ( it's not exactly free either)

Shortly said: now I get up in the mornings to look forward to the continuation of this year's Christmas calendar and rejoice at the thought of all the children doing the same. Even the hatch opening is fun! So nice to avoid skin stress, adjust the screaming style. Why do you think kids like it?? in that case all children would be super harmonious in too large groups of children.

Tord Danielsson has directed THE CROWN PRINCE WHO IS DISAPPEARED and Mattias Grosin, Linn Mannheimer and Isabelle Riddez have written the script. FUNNY that it could be done this way!

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AUTHOR'S VISIT in HALMSTAD

The other day I was at Halmstad's fantastic City Library, invited to speak about the Destroyer. It's strangely the first time I've been out talking about my latest book, perhaps because it came during the pandemic and then fell out of the organizers' minds. However, it has not fallen out of favor with the audience, readers' minds . Every week I get a few letters from readers who have experienced the book so strongly, who have found a release in reading it, a correction or only a page-turner reading that did not leave their thought and gave them new insights. It is so good, it makes me so happy, if one can now use that word in the tragic, terrible context it is about : where thousands of people suffer very badly, have lives ruined, losing themselves, loses its power, sometimes I am in the consequences of psychological violence, if it is carried out by psychopaths or near psychopaths. All those who subject others to psychological violence must still have something in common: lack of empathy and sense of responsibility. The kind that healthy people think that all other people orient themselves according to, as a common basic agreement between us all.

Now, in any case, I was invited to speak at Halmstad's City Library and, first of all, I was very happy to see this fantastic library. It was built for 16 years ago and the beautiful glass building that is partly built over Nissan is the result of an architectural competition. The library is in itself a great work of art that adorns the city, that glows with lures and heat, space, culture and community. Then I was – as often when meeting librarians – deeply impressed by the librarian Jeanette who, together with her colleagues, has so many — ja , underbara! —- project at the library. Community living room. But a living room where so many thoughts abound, and sometimes exchanged and shared. ”Here are our reading rooms” Jeanette said during her tour of the magnificent library. Including, she told, they have reading groups there that are open to everyone and there is a QUEUE for them! And it's not JUST women, as it often is, but also men and boys – the participants are from 18 to over 80 år. One of these reading groups is called

POETRY FOR THE MELANCHOLIC

Bara det! So beautiful and alluring, and such a nice environment to be melancholy and curious in, in this glass house full of so much thought and breath, a bit above the Nissan,

In these groups, she and her colleague read a poem, it is perhaps twelve lines long, and then they spend two hours talking about it, interpret it, feel around it, formulate , think, reflect, whether. IT MUST BE AWESOME to be a part of! Ja, sa hon, IT IS FANTASTIC, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and on such occasions you get deep hope for humanity.

So it was time for me to talk about the Destroyer. I wanted to be really structured, as if I were to teach, but I soon tired of it. It is always more fun to talk freely and in the moment, be present. Then I often regret it, because I realize that I didn't get the important thing, and not that either. But I have hopefully included enough important things that it will have given my listeners something. The librarian said ” did you not notice how incredibly listening the audience was?” – it was lucky, because you don't want to waste anyone's time. At the question and answer session, I received many substantive questions , which pleased me. The most shocking thing for everyone was actually the fact that psychological violence is not punishable. And the issue of shame and guilt that everyone OUTSIDE of the crime forces on the victim. It always should, like a letter in the mail, alleged victims of mental ( and physically ) violence remains in silence because they feel such guilt and shame. It's a good way to keep people quiet. An excellent way to go about the perpetrators' business. You have to be very careful with the language, whose business are you running in the words you use, how to focus on different things with your language. No one in the inhumanly stressful and pressured and desperate situation exposed to violence cares what OTHERS may think. That is far from the important thing. The only important thing is to survive, or trying to get a little bit of vitality to survive, and the only thing one is occupied with is trying to maneuver the whims of the perpetrator.

However, when you come out into the light, if you do it – then you can feel shame and guilt so that you almost fall over again – and who is to blame for it? For my part, NOBODY burdened me with shame or guilt in my private life – on the other hand, the reviewers did it so it was great. Except they read things into my book that backfired on me, things that didn't even appear in the book/reality. But they read in things they ASSUMED were part of the whole thing, because you THINK you KNOW, precisely because the LANGUAGE surrounding crimes of this kind is offensively ill-conceived and in practice protects the evil deeds of the perpetrator.

At the end of the lecture, during question time, spoke a nice older woman. She wanted to thank me from the bottom of her heart. She hadn't read the book, men ” to see you standing here and telling about all this so openly and so wisely, gives me hope and strength. Now I feel like I should put the lid on everything that has been in my life, and look ahead. I'm going forward, like you. I see that it works. I know I'm not alone. Thank you for a very meaningful lecture. ”

Her words, her look , the courage and strength and vindication she felt she received gave me so much strength back – and gratitude. Det visste jag inte, none of this, when I could hardly breathe, completely crushed by a person I didn't even like, a person I considered silly in many ways, a person who had usurped power over me, in the way psychopaths do.

As the librarian Jeanette said when she introduced me. ”After reading the gripping, mind-blowing book The Destroyer, I know two things. I know where shame and guilt belong. And I know that anyone can be victimized.”

Now I look forward to more meetings with readers.

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Now comes the DESTROYER as a piece!

Finally I get to tell you!

The RIKSTEATERN premieres the play ÖDELÄGGAREN, free after my book of the same name in February 2023. A cleverly boiled down text is written by Lisa Lindén and directed by Karin Kickan Holmberg and on stage we get to see the WONDERFUL actress MARIA KULLE.

I am SO happy for this constellation of talented people and it is SO good that the play will be traveling around the country. From idea to production, it has gone unusually fast!

Karin Kickan Holmberg, which I did not know before, contacted me at the beginning of 2021 and said she had gotten so many ideas from reading the book and wondered if we should do a play. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and yes of course, Of course I'm open to it, it is clearly a grateful one, human and dramatic history, but I didn't want to go into the material again myself. Quick as an eye, she found Lisa Lindén on recommendations and heard from many theaters of interest. It turned out that there was a lot of interest, but Riksteatern was the fastest!

The three of us met last summer in my garden – it was the first time we all met and I haven't seen any of them since, but sometimes stories are almost like music. Musicians can, without knowing each other, start playing together, improvise and create something brilliant, and this can obviously also happen with text if those involved are inspired and captivated by the story enough.

On the way it became clear that the insanely beautiful actress Maria Kulle will play the only role and it probably can't get any better.

Yesterday, only 16 months after the only meeting between authors, director and playwright Riksteatern announced its upcoming repertoire and I can finally tell you that ÖDELÄGGAREN is coming – maybe to A SCENE NEAR YOU!

When we three women met under the apple trees, we agreed that Lisa and I would have no contact – because she is writing an adaptation of the book and the book's Christina. I happen to be in reality too, exactly at the same time, but that is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING. That's how strange it is with fiction and reality. Even when I wrote the book, the real Christina was different from the book's Christina and of course the book's Christina was not exactly the one described either. But it was important to us that Lisa should not be influenced by my person and that I should put as little as possible into her text .

You can imagine how scary it really is for someone to write a text on one's text that is also about a terrible time in one's life! It could have been really hard for me, but it hasn't happened! I am very pleased with her editing and impressed with how she has managed to boil the super thick book down to a normal length play! It will be very exciting, roligt, amazing and scary to watch.

It is also significant that this story lives on and can reach audiences in different ways. It's an important story, just like i knew, after gaining more knowledge about this kind of crime, the abuses and the crime that goes on where the WEAPON is invisible – psychological violence. It is also important to understand that anyone can fall victim to psychological violence, even though the same number ( alla ) think they are safe. Mental violence destroys people and is not punishable. But misleading someone to take their money is punishable and because I was able to prove it, this particular offender received the community punishment. But that this happens is not part of the norm. And the Swedish justice system lags behind e.g. ex GB, where psychological violence as a means of robbing others IS punishable. Hopefully the knowledge about this deepens so slowly, but for that to happen, things must be told and called by their right names.

I hope that all readers of The Destroyer – and many many more ( for example, those who can't bear to get through the brick because the text is so heavy) will see the play because there is a chance that the production will come to a city when you all!

Until today have 1500 people wrote to me and thanked me for the book. It was a terrible ordeal and I thought I was going to perish,

but I have, with the book, able to help many many people – of all kinds. Because people of all kinds are affected, have suffered and will suffer from someone with psychopathic traits, as Mr. Destroyer.

The photo of Maria Kulle was taken by Sören Vilks.

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EBBASLEBBA

Unbelievable what life has become around the reporter who happened to forget a notepad in the Riksdag's dining room where she wrote ” Ebbaslebba”.

She said it was not a negative comment about Busch, without her simply thinking about TV – series Ebba & Didrik.

As the author of Ebba & Didrik amuses me with this uproar, but at the same time it is incredible that so much energy was put into this trifle that it is even discussed in Studio Ett P1 SR, except for writings in the newspapers.

I can basically remember when I wrote Ebba Slebba, it was when I was sitting at a very small typewriter table on wheels in a small apartment on Kungsholmen. I was about 25 år. What if I had guessed that there could be any uproar about these words, more than 30 years later. There you see the POWER of art!

Everyone seems to have a relationship with Ebba & Didrik and it is quite dizzying.

Anyone who wants to can still watch TV- the series on SVT play.

After I wrote TV- series I wrote the books, which are more directly aimed at the ages 9 – 11 år. TV- the series is not aimed at anyone at all ”target group”, but in book form it was required. TV – the series appeals to all ages and it's wonderful that it has actually worked just like that. What happens between the Children in the series could just as well happen in middle age or later. It's about lies, fidelity, love, the right to be yourself, the dream, jumped, the betrayal… things we all encounter in one form or another in life and which we must understand how to relate to.

Ebba Slebba… I laugh!

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Refreshing weed fight

One day this summer, I spotted a cluster of glistening currants in one of the currant bushes I planted about ten years ago, to my mother. They have not produced any berries before and have therefore been counted out, so to speak. Men där, in the morning light, now hung not just one but several bunches of red currants.

I threw myself up to take a closer look at the miracle and then discovered that the entire currant bush was disappearing under several decimeters of ivy. Ivy is decorative and arches beautifully over stumps and other debris, creating large green spaces, but I had never understood the power with which this plant makes its way and literally subdues everything else! I soon discovered that the ivy's tens of meters long roots were lurking under the grass and sticking up in places where they really shouldn't be, about to invade half the garden. Everywhere I turned, after quickly devouring the berries, I was surrounded by the strong, stubborn plant, which sneaks its way thanks to its decorative beauty, but with the insidious plan to take over EVERYTHING!

Since forty-five years ago, I am well acquainted with gossip cabbage, or kirskål as it is also called, and have spent many summer weeks pulling their long white roots to try to save some of the garden as my mother was the late wife of my father and he talked about paving the whole lot. I had to continue this hopeless work when they were old. But that ivy that dressed up ugly fences and stumps so beautifully had the same conquering behavior was shocking news. To top it all off, the invasive plant parkslide has seen its potential in the wild garden. So now I had three strong weeds to fight against at once.

This triggered my ancient powers. I became completely obsessed. Day out and day in, week in and week out I have devoted myself to the task of weeding back. It has been very satisfying and interesting and a kind of lesson in living. I've torn everything out so the earth has been bare and then gone deeper and discovered whole underground systems with wiring centers below the surface of the earth. Ja, control centers; large hard lumps from which mainly parkslide throws out its roots in all directions. Even if what looks up from the beginning is a small thin leaf, so the strength underground is massive! And these command centers were almost impossible to dig up, as if they were anchored so deep in the earth that it takes machines to prey on them. BUT I can dig well! It was extremely interesting for me to expose all the root systems, not a bit surprising really because you know these exist, hardly news, but I became colossally excited and even more obsessed with the work of removing it. It was all about that. And every morning the gossip cabbage had put up new stems with leaves as tireless proof of its inimitable vigor! Wow, imagine if you had that power yourself!

All roots were transported away – and so instead I have created soil beds filled with leaves and compost and worms, so next year the weeds will have to fight against flowers and berries for the space. As soon as there was some respite for everything else that lies in wait in the earth, the smurf started shyly looking forward. I will never win over the weeds, they are much stronger than me and they never give up, but I can control them. It goes a long way for you to cheer. Just like with everything else you don't want in your life, for example, psychopathic behavior, it creeps up, it's slowly taking over, right what it is, you are caught off guard and realize that you have lost control and all the beauty you have planted is suffocating under the weeds. Then it's time to clean up, as deep as you can and inspect and analyze everything, discard it and create new. And regain some of the control.

But it's still strange that weed with all the strength and tenacity weed has, IS weed. That it is not something beautiful instead?

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September

It's getting close to midnight. The candles are lit on the table. The teapot is almost empty, and the red currant pie with melted marshmallows, which resemble killer slugs, is eaten. Fortunately, there were no killer slugs and no one could be fooled either. The pantries must be emptied, everything is eaten, even the children's forgotten marshmallows. On each side of me the dogs sleep, the one with all the legs in the air, the other sprawled pleasurably on cushions with his nose pierced between his paws.

The darkness came suddenly. It didn't seem to come at all this year. We waited earlier in August but the sky was bright, yes actually yellow above the sea, late at night. But suddenly without us noticing, the days had passed and the windows had to be closed in the evening.

The most wonderful summer in a long time- not in the world, but for some of the people, including me – is almost over for this year. The garden is secretly preparing to start approaching winter rest.

I have sat under the cloudberry tree and scratched dry leaves from sawn branches. I enjoy that. It was a big pile.

Tomorrow I will run over them and some twigs with my superb lawnmower. It was way too expensive but I'm good at tricking the pennies . not so good at trolling with the knees. Then I've arranged a nourishing blanket for those who are growing, and which will soon rest and gather strength for next spring. Tänk. Rest and gather strength for next year! Until next time there will be light and warmth and summer. How beautiful it is with seasons, with the rhythm of nature, with the circuit, so whimsical.

I participate a little in it, when I bring back what has grown in the garden and which I have tended and cut down . I'm trying to do like mother nature and make winter blankets. I like that.

I'm not even going to throw away the skinny twigs, but I will use that to warm myself. They should burn nicely, perfect to light with.

You have to have warmth when the darkness and cold come.

And glow. That's how it is under the stars.

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