AUTHOR'S VISIT in HALMSTAD

The other day I was at Halmstad's fantastic City Library, invited to speak about the Destroyer. It's strangely the first time I've been out talking about my latest book, perhaps because it came during the pandemic and then fell out of the organizers' minds. However, it has not fallen out of favor with the audience, readers' minds . Every week I get a few letters from readers who have experienced the book so strongly, who have found a release in reading it, a correction or only a page-turner reading that did not leave their thought and gave them new insights. It is so good, it makes me so happy, if one can now use that word in the tragic, terrible context it is about : where thousands of people suffer very badly, have lives ruined, losing themselves, loses its power, sometimes I am in the consequences of psychological violence, if it is carried out by psychopaths or near psychopaths. All those who subject others to psychological violence must still have something in common: lack of empathy and sense of responsibility. The kind that healthy people think that all other people orient themselves according to, as a common basic agreement between us all.

Now, in any case, I was invited to speak at Halmstad's City Library and, first of all, I was very happy to see this fantastic library. It was built for 16 years ago and the beautiful glass building that is partly built over Nissan is the result of an architectural competition. The library is in itself a great work of art that adorns the city, that glows with lures and heat, space, culture and community. Then I was – as often when meeting librarians – deeply impressed by the librarian Jeanette who, together with her colleagues, has so many — ja , underbara! —- project at the library. Community living room. But a living room where so many thoughts abound, and sometimes exchanged and shared. ”Here are our reading rooms” Jeanette said during her tour of the magnificent library. Including, she told, they have reading groups there that are open to everyone and there is a QUEUE for them! And it's not JUST women, as it often is, but also men and boys – the participants are from 18 to over 80 år. One of these reading groups is called

POETRY FOR THE MELANCHOLIC

Bara det! So beautiful and alluring, and such a nice environment to be melancholy and curious in, in this glass house full of so much thought and breath, a bit above the Nissan,

In these groups, she and her colleague read a poem, it is perhaps twelve lines long, and then they spend two hours talking about it, interpret it, feel around it, formulate , think, reflect, whether. IT MUST BE AWESOME to be a part of! Ja, sa hon, IT IS FANTASTIC, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and on such occasions you get deep hope for humanity.

So it was time for me to talk about the Destroyer. I wanted to be really structured, as if I were to teach, but I soon tired of it. It is always more fun to talk freely and in the moment, be present. Then I often regret it, because I realize that I didn't get the important thing, and not that either. But I have hopefully included enough important things that it will have given my listeners something. The librarian said ” did you not notice how incredibly listening the audience was?” – it was lucky, because you don't want to waste anyone's time. At the question and answer session, I received many substantive questions , which pleased me. The most shocking thing for everyone was actually the fact that psychological violence is not punishable. And the issue of shame and guilt that everyone OUTSIDE of the crime forces on the victim. It always should, like a letter in the mail, alleged victims of mental ( and physically ) violence remains in silence because they feel such guilt and shame. It's a good way to keep people quiet. An excellent way to go about the perpetrators' business. You have to be very careful with the language, whose business are you running in the words you use, how to focus on different things with your language. No one in the inhumanly stressful and pressured and desperate situation exposed to violence cares what OTHERS may think. That is far from the important thing. The only important thing is to survive, or trying to get a little bit of vitality to survive, and the only thing one is occupied with is trying to maneuver the whims of the perpetrator.

However, when you come out into the light, if you do it – then you can feel shame and guilt so that you almost fall over again – and who is to blame for it? For my part, NOBODY burdened me with shame or guilt in my private life – on the other hand, the reviewers did it so it was great. Except they read things into my book that backfired on me, things that didn't even appear in the book/reality. But they read in things they ASSUMED were part of the whole thing, because you THINK you KNOW, precisely because the LANGUAGE surrounding crimes of this kind is offensively ill-conceived and in practice protects the evil deeds of the perpetrator.

At the end of the lecture, during question time, spoke a nice older woman. She wanted to thank me from the bottom of her heart. She hadn't read the book, men ” to see you standing here and telling about all this so openly and so wisely, gives me hope and strength. Now I feel like I should put the lid on everything that has been in my life, and look ahead. I'm going forward, like you. I see that it works. I know I'm not alone. Thank you for a very meaningful lecture. ”

Her words, her look , the courage and strength and vindication she felt she received gave me so much strength back – and gratitude. Det visste jag inte, none of this, when I could hardly breathe, completely crushed by a person I didn't even like, a person I considered silly in many ways, a person who had usurped power over me, in the way psychopaths do.

As the librarian Jeanette said when she introduced me. ”After reading the gripping, mind-blowing book The Destroyer, I know two things. I know where shame and guilt belong. And I know that anyone can be victimized.”

Now I look forward to more meetings with readers.