Hörni vänner,
jag är lite trött på bloggen eftersom jag är så upptagen av Brottet och därmed av mig själv.
Hur kul är det att läsa om? Det är ganska tjatigt. Det har ju inte börjat hända något synligt ännu heller. Gud vet om något synligt kommer att ske! Rättvisans kvarnar mal långsamt. Stundom alls icke alls.
Ibland är jag överhuvudtaget – vem är inte det? – trött på ORD. All these words we create identities, distance and misunderstanding with. Sometimes the opposite. But for the most part, it's not the words that bind people together, på riktigt. That's all else, the wordless, so it is still the wordless that is most important. Why then put together more word combinations?
All pointless blunder. Quite often I think I do NOT want to contribute to it. A blog contributes to that.
I had thought, for example, in the time now passed, to write a post about how surprisingly sexist I was treated by my mover, if one can use such an expression ( ”mover”) when I complained about how the move was carried out. It could be an interesting post, I thought. The situation has a couple of thought-provoking levels and so it is surprising to some men, twenty years younger than yourself, when you scratch the surface, you reveal your sexist experience of… me. (kvinnan) It could probably have been an interesting post if I had managed to formulate it with sharpness and swing.
But I can not even get so angry that I write it. He is also a former good friend. I do not want to be stupid. Ändå. And I got a friendship award on the move – so I should not say anything. Although much was broken and some disappeared and half the home stood unattended for several hours – I discovered. In that blog I did not write, you could have fun making a definition of what waiting services mean and then dissecting the man's reaction to my complaint. Very bizarre reactions. But it takes a desire to formulate to get it to rise to a more universal level than the private. Right?
It's sad when you miss the top, your own, his little super-energetic rage spinning top. I have otherwise been nominated for August precisely for my anger. It says in the August Diploma. It is an anger that is expressed in the topics I choose to write about. Personally, I am rarely angry. Not even when I should. I always realize too late that I should show my teeth and growl from my throat.
Crankshaft and. It is not something you should do if you have not clearly defined for yourself what you expect, what the conditions are. If I do a friend a favor and expect it to fix my car for it, so I have to tell you. Or if I receive help from someone and they expect me to pay back in one way or another ( can be with my happy mood!) it must tell it. I think so. Because otherwise it is not a waiting service. Otherwise, it is a kind of mystery with undertones to be interpreted and which includes shame and guilt. Shivers.
Or if one, as the mover, gives me a friendship prize and at the same time neglects copiously with my possessions, then it would have been nice to know it in advance so I could have assessed the value of the service. Especially like me, under the waiting service's waving waiting service banner, did not have the right to complain about lost fine ( fine) things and broken furniture. It was a waiting service! ( ”I do not think you use that typewriter table, it was actually in the basement!”) ( ” Mm, it stood in the basement for the photography of the floor”) and things like that that you get right back in the mouth when you have told a little about your poor life ( ”Maybe you just want more money because you've had a bad time, and therefore says that your fine dish is gone!”) and sexist treatment ( ”You have fallen into the same trap as rich old men who buy sex and youth for money ”)… .Oh? Understatement : several things.
One of them is that the Destroyer was younger than me. He was older. And we had no love affair. I barely even had his company. He just lived with me. (So a wild assumption, taken out of thin air in the face of sexual woman nowadays even poorer – two dubious things! )
That statement about money and sex and age is extra interesting for other reasons as well, because he himself for a time was a young lover in my lovely court of bliss and intoxication. And because I've never had any money to buy someone's company with. Nor has it had to attract men with cuddles. Ho ho, långt ifrån, ack ack, I've always had to run away from men – young as fit – and had the great advantage of pointing and cheerfully choosing! ”I want you! The rest of you can forget it! ” I do not intend to knit under a chair because here it has been knitted under a chair so that is enough!
A woman with younger lovers apparently still stands out – whether you yourself were one of them! She must have cheated on them! Bought them! All the others, vill säga, not me, because I was special ( one must think like a former in the young court) Alla- every- my lovers were poor – to live in Sweden – precis som jag, because I am not drawn to wealth but to stories! There was no thought of crowns and pennies anywhere, but the power of money is thus taken with SCHMACK on the woman's cheek if she has now let it flare so affirming – if you feel cramped. Intressant. Aha, aha, noted, noted for the studies.
And for me, it IS inspiring and interesting to fall over unexpected prejudices! It is a constant source of thought stimulation.
A middle-aged man can have ten – twenty years younger ladies by her side without anyone even reacting. Even though the probability that a man has ” purchased ” the young woman's affection with good finances is… ähum, pretty high. That discussion is so OLD and when a man of just over thirty carefully plucks down his prejudiced ideas on text messages, you can do nothing but take care of your forehead.
No, but I can not formulate that blog. I do not know if it's interesting enough. I do not want to quarrel anymore either. Even though I'm angry. I could also have written a beautiful blog about love. About friendship. In the summer. I have a whole list of different ideas and ideas, simple, less simple, a tad more advanced.
Maybe I'm taking some time off from writing, even though it's refreshing for me as a rippling source in the desert to write blog posts sometimes. It gives me the chance to write in a different way than the LONG book writing. But if you do not have the right sharpness and anger and the desire to formulate, it is unnecessary to contribute to the pile of words that disturb people's brains. Like in this blog where I come to the conclusion that I should not write it.
So it became nothing today.
