fiction, reality, projections

Hey all,

now I hope that for the last time I will write some kind of defense for my book The Destroyer. Of course, if it had been FICTION, I would not have said a word about my thoughts on criticism and reviews, precisely because one cannot dictate how others should perceive one's work. Through all the years of professional writing, I have read many reviews and know that the reader interprets based on his own experience and his world of thought, and that some are perceived, otherwise not and that it is in any case a subjective interpretation of text or drama and if there is nothing to say, som författare. But when it comes to The Destroyer, it's not fiction, it's about some traumatic years of my life and therefore i feel that i have to point out some factual errors in reviews, especially since there were annoyed question marks in the critics' reading as to why I did not do this or that.

And in the same vein, I would like to remind you that I was not subjected to abuse of women in the ordinary sense, or for sun and spring or even deception in the ordinary sense, but for a psychopath who was looking for what he could come across and used elaborate psychological violence to accomplish his deed – which people with psychopathic traits do, as they lack affective empathy, which makes a person evil in practice, no matter how much we wish that every human being is basically good and capable of healing. And psychopaths do not just happen to women, and psychopaths do not just come in the male gender either. This is important to remember. Now to the factual errors;

Sun and spring . Nej, I did not get sun and spring. Feel free to think about what the term can mean and what it signals, what value one puts into the concept – it can be a useful exercise.

Invest. ”Why did she not check out the funds she invested in?” asks the reviewer in SVD, but also in other reviews it has said that I have invested. I HAVE NOT INVESTED! That's the simple reason I did not check out any funds. Read the book!

Shame and guilt ; very often it is claimed that I lived in a sense of shame and guilt and that was the reason why I suffered in silence for several years. Nej, that was not the case. It is a simplification that the outsider projects on victims of various kinds of abuse and it is done in an obvious way, as if this phrase is automatically associated with certain abuses. I can not speak for other kinds of abuse, but as for us who have been exposed to psychopaths, I have so far not heard that anyone has been dominated by the feeling of shame and guilt, in relation to the others, outside the magic circle. You are dominated by completely different things. One's psyche is terrorized in every conceivable way when one is entangled in a psychopath's net and the only thing that matters is the present. Everything outside is unpredictable and threatens to become something catastrophic. As long as the present is a now without disaster, panic, hot, new confusing bids, new elements of mental separation are now good. You are completely busy parrying it to spare yourself a little, a little more. I can promise you, you who say that the victims remain in silent suffering because of shame and guilt, that one does not have time for such coquettish feelings. Shame and guilt presuppose an interaction with the outside world – who sees one and judges one – and it does not exist. The only thing that exists is what you have to deal with in relation to the psychopath. It is unfair and wrong to project this on victims of abuse. It preserves a diffuse and cruel, also illogical, notion that the victims in some way HAVE guilt and shame in that they have been sacrificed ( of sex offenders, by an alcoholic partner, by a psychopath). Strangely enough, victims of street assault or traffic offenses are not covered by this concept, probably because one understands that they are innocent of what has happened. The fact that one does not realize this when it comes to sex crimes or psychological violence is alarming. In fact, it is about deep despair and great loneliness.

When it comes to being deceived by money and / or love, it is close at hand for outsiders to mock and despise. It is very strange when the whole culture is completely perversely fixated on money and love, and it is considered admirable to be rich and loved! But woe to him who is deceived by the good things! Shame on it! Återigen, I have to remind; in my case, however, it was not about love, nor about money. The thing that drove me into his yarn and that then drove me through the years was the BOY. BARNET. Read the book!

The contempt for astrologers; I teased certain bile fever on the reviewer in DN because I ” ran to fortune tellers and astrologers”. 🙂 It's almost fun. I never ran into a fortune teller, it was the Destroyer who said he was dealing with such a thing. But I was acquainted with a very established astrologer whose identity I protect in the book so as not to harm her business. I write clearly that I am skeptical of this with horoscopes and that I absolutely do not want her to draw any tarot cards. But she does it without me asking for it when one day we meet by chance and what she says is etched in my brain, because it's exactly what the destroyer says about why he and I had met. And I do not want it in my mind, when I should try to orient myself in the madness and make a decision, where he incessantly pushes me in a direction I do not want to go. In the same direction as the astrologer says I should go, unluckily. I've still been looking for her, initially, to get some kind of guidance, and I just then chose not to go to a lawyer who could ask the questions I myself was terrified of, as you are when your world has shrunk by a psychopath and you know that outside the life-threatening bubble that has become your life, everything is even worse, for there are the consequences of what the psychopath has driven another. I consciously chose that I could not stand the dangerous questions of going to the astrologer. All this is in the book. So it was not an uncritical run to astrologers, which sounds like I let astrology decide everything.

It's really quite interesting, so here in retrospect, that our natal horoscopes were apparently the complete opposite of each other. The astrologer interpreted what she was surprised to see spit out of the computer that we were meant to complement each other. Ack, such a beautiful fairy tale! For me, it was just nasty. I also turned to a lawyer who told me that the destroyer was probably not a fraudster because he had not hidden his real name from me and because he had not already stuck with the money I had lent him.. But in the review it does not appear, just that I ” ran to fortune tellers and astrologers”. Ja, I turned to her because I could not think for myself. That is the danger with astrologers. People turn to them when they are unable to make important, perhaps life-changing, decisions. These alternative businesses have a huge responsibility for every person they meet and ” advises.” When I was drawn out of the wizard's spell circle, I turned to the astrologer in question and pointed out the power of a human being that she has. She sincerely regretted what had happened. We were opposites, however, it was true.

Everyone warned. Mina barn, mina vänner, my elderly mother, my brothers, my exman!

For some reason, it is claimed in both Svd, DN and NST. Det är intressant. I think the readers inside have warned me while reading! For the simple truth is that no one warned me because no one knew what was going on for three and a half years. What would they warn me about? I kept quiet about everything because he threatened revenge if I did not keep quiet. Because I thought that only we will get to the next point where everything is arranged, so…. until then I have to keep quiet. Det gjorde jag. So who could warn me? Comes? When?

My son was annoyed that the man lived with me for free. He was angry that I was too kind. He thought I was putting myself on the exception to help the man – which was also so ridiculous and bloated – and his son. It is not to WARN.

IF any of my loved ones had known what was going on, they would NEVER have been content to just warn! IF they had known the smallest thing, they would have STOPPED it, without delay. But NO ONE knew.

My friend, with unusually good human feeling and intuition, Lena saw that I was losing energy and seemed to feel worse and worse. Others linked it to the fact that I was mourning my father, but it was more than that. Lena works as a healer. I do not believe in that business either, but I have one hundred percent respect for her, simply because she has an ability to see what is going on with one and an extremely strong intuition and intelligent brilliance. She was the only one I could not meet because I could not play for her, be inaccessible, glad, sweep past what tormented me, hide it in talk, laughter and by constantly shifting focus away from myself. Lena who had knowledge of psychopathy linked my reluctance to contact and my growing inner division and fatigue to Sam. She asked questions. I could not answer casually because she saw through me. But she knew nothing about what was going on, that he pressured me to lend him money. She did not warn me, but had a nightmare just before the worst happened, which gave him definite power over me, but then I had already lent too much. Then she warned me. But I could not believe in a dream. I had a man who was going to kill himself, in front of me, it was more crucial. Nobody knew anything about the money. So who warned me? As for my old mother, she thought it was good that there was a man in my home. She perceived that I felt good about taking care of him and his son, and in a way it was true, during periods. She contacted my brothers when she was afraid I was breaking down when I had to sell my home. – then it had been going on for three years – but it was not connected to the destroyer, but to the fact that I had not been able to work and earn my living.. ( admittedly because of the destroyer but no one knew) So who warned me, I wonder in amazement. Jo, after two and a half years when everything was already lost, I told everything to my confidant, Malik, but not because I distrusted the destroyer for being the bandit he was, but because I had a diffuse feeling of being threatened with death and would surely die soon. Until he heard it all, Malik had not, as little as anyone else, guessed what was going on. He had liked the man who was the destroyer. But when I had told just about everything to Malik… Of course, then he warned me. He said I was brainwashed. He was right.

So where in the book are these warnings that the reviewers annoyingly say have been issued along the way and that I should have listened to instead of contemptuously go under? Sorry, no one came until everything was late. NO ONE KNEW.

Som sagt, if the Destroyer had been fiction, I would not have said a word about the reviews, but the book describes a couple of years' reality. Only because of that do I have to write these very boring blogs that I understand bore my readers.

But it is undoubtedly interesting that these critics have read quite a few factual errors. The strangest thing is that none of the SEVERAL HUNDREDS of emails I have received from unknown people have read these factual errors in the text, but of course there are probably several hundred readers out there who HAVE read these things into the text. But it's not really that dangerous, more than I want to say mine – because even if it irritates them so much that it almost turns into contempt, it basically testifies to a kind of innocent care for the person who has happened so badly. I think it would have been easier to endure the misfortune that the woman in such detail forces on the reader, if she had ”invested” if she was silent in her suffering because of ”guilt and shame” , if she had received ” warnings” and yet was so stupid that she did not listen, but instead ”ran to fortune tellers and astrologers”. It would have been easier to handle! There had been explanations as to how things could go so badly, which can still be embraced with their reason, because there are certainly stupid people completely different one yourself out there. It is much easier to accept than the presence of evil people. But read a little about psychopathy, it is useful reading. If I had done it myself, I might never have ended up where I ended up.

so short and sweet; I overlook the factual errors, but I have to correct them.

Well a PS. Any, among others Francke in NST is amazed that I have gone on his ” improbable stories”. I do not understand that at all! Reality always surpasses poetry and improbable stories abound in reality. His story was no more unlikely than the one I tell about my own life in The Destroyer. And one more PS; I was in Brazil with him and visited his family in the poor village he came from. He had risen from poverty as a little boy and come to the United States on a scholarship. He wanted to change his life for the better for his mother and siblings. His father was a very dangerous man. The destroyer was in every way different his incubator, weird, religious family and had made different kinds of impressions in the world with their different talents and done well, probably due to his psychopathy. (This did not fit in the book.)