Unromantic notions and the importance of reporting sexual harassment.

There is reason to ponder the dating world and I have some unromantic notions, but I hope that it only applies to middle-aged ( which is a fluid concept) or smågamla people.

My unromantic idea is that dating sites do not produce the best in people.

In general, primarily, I believe that those who engage in the world is caught up in the lack. The feeling that something is missing / someone in their life is daily reinforced. It charges the feeling of loneliness that I fear may have excessive proportions of certain, overshadow life in general and may clog their flexibility in actual reality, for real meetings. I also believe that the delusion that it can pop up another, better, när som helst, supply appears infinitely and continuously variable, creates a restlessness that makes the realized meetings superficial and non- – närvarande. It initially honest search for love turns into an människahängandevidenarmadbanditenloop. On top of that I think people – for we are like little made so – risk being pathologically confirmed depending. In silence, something has to be done. The emptiness of the phone creates panic. I must have issues in my mobile, I am with, I exist, an at times almost desperate feeling born of loneliness, originated from human deep need of affiliation. Better a message from someone than none at all, and human objects of lesser interest are encouraged simply to satisfy the ever-accelerating demand, which in turn will make the occasional encouraged sorry, when the overwhelming urge just gone. Its sad.

Of course there are advantages to it. People actually MEET, people who never otherwise have found each other. And although it does not always produce the desired result in the form of sparkling love this happens at best conversations on the road that still can broaden the worldview of everyone involved. And sometimes hit it and will actually love.

But it is not so often.

And I have a very unromantic idea that it is quite shabby behind the screens. Something weird happens with quite a few middle-aged middle-class, I sense. As everyone knows, I have no evidence for this more than the experience I have gathered, and companions, väninnors friends and acquaintances, and such written to me after my last super boring blogs. So darn boring topic, but there's something about this that need to be considered. And that's just from the women's point of view as it is written.

The unromantic notion: It seems that many middle-aged middle-class feel suddenly omnipotent when they head out on dating sites and see the plethora of smiling, accommodating women who delivered them. And we ( Now I say this because this comes from discussions with other women ) get a very prejudiced and dull feeling that a large part of these men were once boys and young men no woman just fell for.

There are lots of beautiful women who yearn for love, amounts of single, divorced people. And the rise of these middle-aged men at the head. They think that it is just to pick and choose. At last, the female attention they never had before. In it is not just the joy, but also anger. You never saw me before, such as you, You laughed at me and strutted away with the cool guys and I was deselected, rebuffed and it hurt. now motherfuckers! Now it's my turn! And soon created small dating monsters, the unfolding from within their decades cohesive façade and they seem to be driven by both self-glorification and misogyny, and the mixture does not particularly good at arena, if we are to be honest it smells bad.

These men may now have reached positions and seem to think that they can buy the woman's companion, kropp, Love by bombarding her with information about their possessions, and what the economy makes possible in the form of jewelry, trips, Entertainment of all kinds. Forever and ever, and each message, the woman told the man what he does with his money, abnormally. Economic inequality in our society exist. We know that women get less pay check than men and lose income and a pension that they are also mothers of the fathers children. The aspect exists, whether we like it or not, and some men enjoy to juggle with the gold in front of her sitting with the short straw. Sometimes it works also.

Another strange behavior is that many men think they can master the woman. What she is saying and responds to, if she does not react according to his expectations, seems to be extremely provocative, attracts no means for reflection and reflection without the urge to berate, often with a touch of the woman is of very sad things neat, sexfientlig, suspicious, even morbidly suspicious, probably because she is broken, old-fashioned, Mnshtre, probably frigid, in need of redemption, ( physical ) , involuntary made, limited, or sometimes the opposite of all this, but in almost all cases a supposedly bad mother. Motherhood often picked up at SERMON, albeit in a subordinate clause.

But the most common is that these men who feel all-powerful in the world of beautiful, alluring women think everything is about sex, and we suspect that they are driven by the more obscure sexual desires than you want to know, or some kind of syndrome that makes the most of each message must talk about sex regardless response. We suspect that the reason for the obsessive nagging about sex is a result of impotence fears. Why else, they say things that ” Sex is a requirement” already in the first message or the message number three start talking about sex? Talking about women reach orgasm just by talking to them about sex …. är … lite…. ja, what to say… ähum.

Alltså. this is the six understood if one falls to each other. It's probably not that the women who long for a partner thinks that they should live in celibacy. But the eagerness to get to the sex is so frustrated big that it has to be said ( printed ) immediately. There seems to be something going on behind the screen, for very few men you meet at the local or party or other situations immediately starts talking about sex. It is linked to the skewed sense of omnipotence that seems to occur when some middle-aged middle-class men suddenly standing in the dating sea behind the screen. One hypothesis is that some of us middle-aged middle-class women have.

And in this strange world of the Internet is it's so easy to take a naked picture of selected parts and immediately send off. So it is done – in speed.

Although it is extremely rare for a naked man looks particularly attractive in pictures. We have not learned to see naked men on the image in such a way that we begin to salivate and there is also no school for how to present a naked man in a sensual and evocative way of image. And it shows. This combined with the woman who is the recipient does not even want him to do it of course worse. We suspect that it is a form of punishment. It could hardly be otherwise: an attempt to attract? In that case, the självförhärligandet a danger to himself, because today you can report such unwelcome images. It is called ” sexual harassment” and notification welcomed by police. In fact, it should be reported.

I myself have recently been punished with naked picture accompanied by written fantasies, which I have not read but they were apparently both poorly written and miserable substantively told my friend who read. These articles got for me for a long time tried to explain to the person- I come in contact with through the dating site – I only wanted to do with the relevant professional ( He offered good jobs ), and finally, I wanted neither the. I got this right at the point when I said no to absolutely everything indicates that it was a form of punishment, which makes me wonder if this is so that when men want to hurt or punish a woman, they think that it will be achieved through six?

Alltså, Suddenly it turns out that an otherwise well-adjusted middle-class individual who moves in various prominent contexts and enjoys universal respect has such thinking? ”I'll wallop her with my naked body in the full-length!”

It is probably very strange to most women think ” You motherfucker, who do not want me, I'll wallop you with a photo of myself straight up and down naked! HA AAAAA, where you get!”

I hope that this is not so prevalent in the younger generations. Perhaps the current generation of old men is the last in Sweden with these outlandish sloppy called. For me and my friends, it is still amazing because these men were young guys at the end of the 70s and sang ” AAAAA AAAAA girls girls, we must raise our voices to be heard”.

Nowadays, after metoo, We know women that it is not we who should be ashamed if we are subjected to sexual harassment. But I suspect that women who are subjected to this kind of stuff on dating sites anyway Tiger. Varför? Jo, for they think that they have themselves to blame. They've gone out on dating sites, where there are men and there very presence on the site says: ”I want a man” though they do not shout it from a tree in Fellini's Amarcord ( who wanted a woman ) . And when you then subjected to intrusive behavior of the tiger man, Perhaps you even feel ashamed, in any case, the feeling is not good to have images etched against one's will on the retina. Fel!

WE , I and some other ordinary middle-aged middle-class women who have been out of the dating sites, imagine that there is a widespread, covert operations on dating sites where men repeatedly expose women to sexual harassment. Every time it happens – at festivals, in the subway, on working, local and on dating sites – Must be reported. Women have to stop silent about it. It may not be normalized for it is a form of abuse.

I have a theory about why these men behave like petulant, and in various ways becomes unpleasant if they do not get what they set out, if only the proper reaction to something they say / write. It has NOTHING to do with whether they are the guys that nobody wanted the young, or if it's the guys that everyone wanted – but more interesting than that. I think that these men who have been married a long time have become accustomed to getting his way. No one wants to admit it, neither women nor men, men ” for the sake of domestic peace” is not a phenomenon relegated to history. Women do not want to admit that they are more often than they want to give way to the man's will in various ways ( not only on the sexual level, but in any area private ) because we all want to appear strong and equal. It is our dignity to do. Men may not even notice that the women giving in to ” sake of domestic peace” and they would never acknowledge such a thing. Often fold for women ”sake of domestic peace” for it not to be a bad atmosphere that goes out over the kids or something nice will happen, or to avoid even more stress in all the practical and emotional as she increasingly responsible for than he, or because he simply can not be sour on her because it is terribly draining.

It is not even surprising. It turns out the boys' desire for sake of domestic peace is already at preschool. Boys habituated into it without realizing it, and those men today have been turned into much more than today's boys. And in their marriage, they are much more accustomed to determine the terms and topics and the reactions and effects than what they know. Many newly separated women talking just about the freedom to avoid having to bow to his mood or comments or needs and conditions of the have done it again and again for the sake of family peace. The freedom from it can feel dizzy and I'm talking about ordinary MIDDLEBROW CONDITIONS, and ordinary women and not on some assault conditions.

Alltså, when these men come out of the dating sites they feel finally almighty – the feeling that there seems to be an infinite number of willing women to pick and choose just for them and then they behave like they are used, the hard spiced by the feeling of omnipotence and sheltered behind the screen. So being totally ” ordinary middle-class middle-aged men” pesky on dating sites and behave in ways that surely everyone around them had been amazed if they knew.

Till slut, for I hope this is the last time I write about this boring but SIGNIFICANT, I want to say that I never went out on a dating site to gather facts from poor ignorant men. Like anyone else, I went out because I was hoping it would be a good one out there that I thus could find, and for no reason other. I also want to say again that I have confused various details of my blogs, from different stories, to not hang out any.

And last of all: There are good middle-aged, middle class and they are hopefully many many more. They can even be a lot of them on dating sites. But for my own part, my visit to the world for always.