POCKET ON THE DESTRUCTOR OUT NOW!

Så bra!

Now the Destroyer is also in the pocket! It is cheaper and lighter but hopefully all sides are included!

I know there are many sides, but I'm pretty sure if I had cut it a hundred pages you readers would not have been drawn into the story in the same way. This is not something you can tell briefly, it requires its sides, even if it feels heavy at times.

It's great that it says on the front ” One of 2020 years most talked about books”, because it really was. It still is, after eleven months, mentioned and it is fun that now when people move they meet people who say that they have ended up in various discussions with friends and acquaintances about The Destroyer. Undoubtedly, it has aroused an incredible amount of thoughts and feelings that touch on existential questions and reflections on human values., moral, ethic, goodness, evil, vem är jag – and what would I do if a poor father stood outside my door and asked to borrow my home for a short period so that the little six-year-old could have summer vacation with his father?

Ja, then the questions roll on! And the anger and irritation!

It's funny that many people think I wrote the book out of affection. Then I have succeeded!

Because I did not write it in affection at all, but after going through lots of text and different lines and analyzing and breaking it all down – to then dress it again, in the drama that it was – in how I experienced it. He had an icy plan and acted icy cold, he had probably prepared every little conversation at the cup of tea or dinner, or late evening – to lead me where he wanted, or just confuse me, or fish for how much patience and empathy and morality I had. To be able to write the story, I have to analyze what he did, what he might have thought etcetera. And how I reacted. Naturligtvis. Peel off – be just as icy cold, to then build up. That preparatory work taught me a lot about his coldness and about my brave attempts to understand what was going on. I never did that. On the other hand, the reader must understand, otherwise it would have been hopeless reading and it is not a puzzle detective.

When everything was deeply confused while the destruction was going on, I just had my morals to hold on to. The moral was simple: if I have promised to help, I must not quit. In this case, it was a promise that could save – or overthrow two other people – one of which was important ; A little child. If it had only been about the old man, I would never have opened the door. My compassion does not extend that far. But it was a CHILD, with big eyes, gaps between the teeth and narrow legs and arms.

I kept the morale. All the way. My morals and perseverance combined with a psychopath destroyed me. But I understand myself, that I in all storming, all nednötning, had a single handrail that I grabbed and followed in the fog. My morals.

Then others appeared who said they wanted to help me. But their morals were not the same. Ack nej.

It is a personal approach and a highly rational decision. That was the only rational thing I could think of. Do not deviate from my own morals in any case.

I have seen very little of what is my own morality in others. Maybe I really was unique, as Sam so happily said. I have since – post Sam – seen how people are ready to let me go under rather than offer me some financial relief even though they themselves have good – and yet they claim to be close to me and want me well. Det är intressant. Money is really something extremely charged for many, especially for those who have them. Never in my soul that they release even a ten – rather, they watch someone's slow downfall. Yes you men, some of them I know at least!

I've seen people close to me, lives a few blocks away and says he cares about me, have never said the same” do you want to come for tea?” eller ”we offer dinner!” Then you meet in different contexts and the hugs are the same and the assurances that I belong with them, and that it is not possible to change and for the sake of simplicity I play affectionately back. It's a new spicy feature in my life, quite depressing but it's very good for me to pull away too.

And I have, as well, also seen the opposite! And you do not forget that either, never, never!

Not least among people who are not very close to me, purely SO, but which offers food, asks if I need anything, give me a small penny or an encouraging gift, or half a lamb or a service! Just like that. Because they know my situation. They are ALL in my amazed heart.

It is interesting to observe, when one is a contemplative writer. It can not be helped that it arouses a little insidious satisfaction in me to see who is hypocritical. I'm hypocritical nowadays, as said, for the sake of simplicity, by smiling and contributing to the moment of affection.

Then there are the REALLY GENUINE friends and relatives. Those who are REAL and who I therefore love even more. In general, I love very much since this happened. Not least LIFE!

It is really TRUE that you should cleanse those who take energy from you. What are you going to do with those people??

When there are so many VERY WONDERFUL people to be with instead, people who make one LE and sing and laugh because they actually have nice hearts. Which makes one continue to BELIEVE IN MAN!

Regarding the book, I sometimes hear that I have ” left me out”. Vad är det?

What do you mean? If you leave. out every time you talk about the different dimensions of life and the complicated phenomena of human existence ? Det visste inte jag. That's the world's most ridiculous thing to say. If people are so facade-fixed, it is no wonder that they feel boredom and boredom and loneliness and deafen their minds with daydreams about luxury consumption and the like.. alcohol!

I have always thought that we all go here about equally unaware of how and why and what, on earth, in this one life and experiencing strange things that are part of the human being. I have always thought that you want to hear from the others how they are doing, and then you can get new angles and perspectives that may make you take certain steps differently. In fact, I have always asked others what they think about it and the strange phenomenon that one has not learned anything about or did not think would happen to oneself., and I have always received answers from others. You can ask someone on a train, or at a bus stop. Anywhere. Just like you can reason with your friends or acquaintances at a dinner. Nobody really knows!

I thought everyone was curious and wondering. But not the facade people.

sometimes I feel like Indra's Daughter in Strindberg's A DREAM GAME. Immersed in the earth, wondered at what was happening, wandering through the one and the other. It's pretty nice. It does not become so pretentious. More relaxed. In addition, closer to the truth, or SENSE OF LIFE, tror jag, than the facade shield pairing.

As far as the psychology of THE DESTROYER is concerned, I know that it is the same process , and the same pattern that repeats itself, between the psychopathic perpetrator and his victim – om och om igen. The lists, the content, the purpose, situation and conditions are as different as there are people, moments and meetings- but still it's like putting a template on everyone ” fall”. As if all psychopathic perpetrators have gone to the same school. And the reactions and confusion of healthy people are always the same because we are built in a special way.

So I do not feel it is revealing at all.

But again, surrender?

Vad betyder det? As if you had left unprotected to chop, peel and beat, though not concrete but more as if ” haha, we know who you are! We know your weaknesses! We can laugh at you. You give us permission to look down on you!”

Is that what you mean? Some kind of SHAME over who ”left out” because it is human!

Ridiculous and counterproductive if one considers that man can develop and that there is an immediate value in just this: develop, become increasingly multifaceted in their understanding of man – knowledgeable about human life. How to become it if not people ” leaves out”? Through navel gazing and theory?

However ! There are things I have NOT written about. Because it's private. The most central thing in the book, which I now afterwards realize that I should have pressed more on is my father's death and my grief. I felt it was way too private. I did not feel I had the right to write about something so intimate and personal, and I did not want it either. Nor did I write about my mother's death, which also happened suddenly, only a few days before the trial.

I should have written more about this my grief, which I was in, just during that time Sam made me lend him the first sums that entangled me. I was in mourning and constantly pressured by him, moreover, he often kept me sleepless and refused to move. It was too much for me. But I should have written about my nights when I cried over Dad, it was not a grief that passed in a month, it continued exactly according to the rulebook, one year acute. After a year, it started to feel better. But then the Destroyer was ready with the next disaster that immediately knocked me down again.

So no, I do not think I have given up on my description of how a psychopathic person destroys another's brain, existence and future – because that's exactly HOW it usually goes.

But on the other hand, if I had written more about my grief for Dad, or after Malik, or how my mother's death and how all the emotions around it threatened to overthrow me just the days before the trial, then I would have felt that I was private in a way I would never want to be.

The purpose of the book was to expose, to formulate, to try to make readers understand the process that is so incomprehensible – which was completely incomprehensible to me with before I had been with it of course – to broaden concepts, lift shame, help other victims and to impart some knowledge. But knowledge regarding such things must be FEELED. A fact book does not give the same impression.

What I have written in The Destroyer is true, but it is analyzed, worked and a line is selected ( the one who could lead to him being punished, that is, the money) – then dressed in his drama again. Otherwise no one would be able to read it. It had been meaningless.

But it is a good grade that many people think I have written it STRAIGHT , captured by my own emotions, in affect with the breath in the throat.

Trots allt, I am a writer you see.

And now feel free to run and buy the pocket. Check if the last page is included!

When ” Den hungriga prinsessan” came out and had his two weeks in Pocketshop's shop window ( very valuable) I discovered by chance ( not responsible publisher so to speak ) the disaster: last page MISSED! All items had to be quickly withdrawn and vips were the two important weeks in Pocketshop's all shop windows GONE.

When the correct version with ALL pages came out, it was unfortunately too late.

Feel free to report if the last page is available ! I myself am in the wilderness somewhere in tottahejti and parasitizing on hacked internet to get all these words off to my dormant blog.

Some people