The recent murder of women has, as everyone knows, created a debate that should have been going on for ages – and as one may fear will wake up from time to time without anything of lasting value being done, just as it has been said for at least thirty years that the financial situation of single mothers in our society should now at least be reviewed.
Thirty years ago, I know that there was a lot of talk about single mothers and their financial vulnerability, which needs to be improved., because then I had a friend who had just divorced two small children. The former man did not even contribute money to a pair of new socks for the children and she herself worked in the cultural sector – one of those who beautifies society with his art you know – and thus had absolutely no financial margins.
Fifteen years later, I myself was single with teenage children and even then it had been realized that single mothers had a very difficult situation in our society where everyone should have the same opportunities and value. – without any improvement.
A few years ago, me too pulled over the world and the reality women live in was exposed to anyone and everyone, all that every woman got used to and thought ;”It's just like this, there's nothing to do” after enduring uninvited sexual approaches and opinions since we got breasts. Heureka, the world rose up against this and could suddenly identify it as abuse and women could look at each other and shout ”YOU TOO?”
Now everyone wakes up a couple of years later and to sudden serious debates about men's violence against women…. as if it were something new and something isolated from, for example, how to value mothers, single mothers, how to value women's work, how to value women's health, how to value women's power over their own bodies? And it would hardly have taken murderous women for the conclusion to be drawn from the clear-spoken Metoo, but say it was required. It is nevertheless astonishing that one thought seldom seems to lead to another!
But all thinking people welcome the debate on violence against women, but there is still no talk of controlling violence, about psychological violence, about what some call emotional violence. Why is the knowledge about this non-existent? Anyone who has been subjected to psychological violence ( which is often the first phase of physical violence ) must feel a scream in his chest when it is constantly excluded in these serious debates! A scream!
Mental violence is more difficult than physical violence. Psychological violence breaks people down in a deeper way. And usually those who have been subjected to physical violence have been prepared with psychological violence. To annihilate, it's about. To take power.
But the psychological violence is INVISIBLE.
Psychological violence is not punishable, not even if it is used as a weapon to gain access to other people's assets. In such crimes – (as the crime I myself have been subjected to which was only possible to carry out through the studied psychological violence committed by a man who gained power over me when I was in acute grief after my father's sudden death ) – it is not even considered that there was a WEAPON, there is no violence – because psychological violence does not count, it is not punishable. In other words, it is fully allowed.
How is that possible in a modern age? We live in a time that is flooded with different methods of successful thinking, or soothing thinking, of a great acceptance of psychotherapy and help, a general deep recognition of the value of t. eg crisis therapy and sports psychology and dog psychology and various other things… BUT including the human psyche when it comes to psychological violence is still completely foreign. Hur är det möjligt?
In my previous blog, I explained that I can not get any compensation from the state for that robbery ( 3, 4 million ) I was exposed to – because the perpetrator's weapon was not physical violence. The economic crime is called ” property crime ” thus very distanced from psychological methodological abuse and violence against a human being in order to take away from her everything she owns. Very far from daily tearing down another's psyche, tire, confuse with the goal of annihilation, crush the victim's ability to think and act on his own. So it is not ” violence ” .
How is it possible that the knowledge is so poor? And how many victims of this kind of crime are again sacrificed by society – even if society has prosecuted and convicted the perpetrator? How many victims, against all odds, have survived that violence, perishes when society says ” you have not been subjected to violence. You will not receive any compensation. No help at all actually.”
”Violence against women” is a concept that must also include the mental, emotional, economic violence, otherwise the discussions are and ” the solutions” remain tame and will prove ineffective on the whole.
You have to think even further:
What is a culture that celebrates violence against women, which is what our culture does, and make massive money on just that; violence against women? For those of you who have not reflected on it, I can recommend taking a closer look at best-selling crime novels ( written by both women and men who make themselves rich on their deliberate elaborate violence against women) and the endless amounts of TV- serier, feature films that entice women in horror, if they even live when the drama begins. Then we have prostitution, the spur of violence. Anyone who still claims that women do it because they want to, has not been able to scratch the surface – or lack empathy, which is about 3 % of the population do, probably more. ( according to research )
How can one ONLY discuss men's violence against women? The role of men must be discussed, one must discuss what boys learn already from preschool ( as they usually learn good things ), what they then learn in the school environment, of their fathers, mödrar, of the culture that lives in our society. Women have worked for generations to change the role of women to become WHOLE PEOPLE ( there is a bit left that seems ) but when should MEN begin to exercise the right to be WHOLE PEOPLE? They were whole people like little boys! As children, they had all the prerequisites to become good men. Then most were tender, omhändertagande, generous, kärleksfulla – and loved their mothers ( kvinnor )
When should the focus be on the commercial culture where women's painful death or devastating injuries are the hub around which pleasure revolves? In other industries, the requirement is that it must take responsibility for the damage their products cause to the environment.
Why not make the same demands on the entertainment industry? A few percent of the revenue from movies / books where women ( om och om igen ) victims as part of the entertainment should go to activities where women are protected from this violence, and to activities that work with the MAN'S ROLE.
Varför inte? Industry as industry.
And finally; For my part, I can not understand how one as a writer can want to immerse oneself in describing disgusting murders and abuses of women ( and other living beings ) TO MAKE YOUR MONEY? Something inside me rises powerfully against the thought. To me, there is nothing admirable about it (ibland) good life this maintenance violence gives its authors. But since culture pays homage to money and violence, they are of course both respected and admired – ja, objects for the longing of others and dreams of success.
