Strong women and psychopaths

Sometimes I come across the word priestine. Do not think it is spelled that way, but one thinks at least of a priest. Sam the devastator used to fascinate me to say that I was. ” Used” is to take in, but he said it on a few occasions and I was so surprised every time, not least of that astonishing appreciation, a little tender expression he had when he said that. Vadå, sa jag, I'm not at all. I have lots of experience of life and have been beaten a lot and am not at all as friend as you might think.

It means ” undamaged ”. Now afterwards, I think there is something very special about this, that the person who is in the process of emptying one's life of opportunities and knows that he risks my security so much that I can become homeless, with an appreciative, tender, fascinated mine says just that ” You are so priestine!”

This is something you have to laugh at afterwards, when sitting with the conclusion. You do not have the result in the meantime, as you may understand. It somehow annoyed me that he thought I was so unspoiled, but he was right in the sense that I had never dealt with a psychopath before. And it's not easy stuff because they camouflage themselves so well. Ja, that way I was undamaged but he knew he was just about to change it at the moment.

One thing I have learned from people in mental health care and the judiciary afterwards is that it seems that many so-called strong women fall victim to psychopathic men. Psychopathic people are attracted to strong people in general because there is more to gain there, but I have come up with another terrible reason why ” strong women” suffer from psychopaths!

Something that was important and interesting to me and completely different with Sam was that he had no difficulty in giving me cred for my successes., for my intelligence, my talent and also for how I had handled motherhood, divorce and illness, all these challenges of life that have a series of visible to the naked eye but nonetheless completely crucial subdivisions in the form of various challenges of responsibility and ethics and holistic thinking. It was not that he actively praised me and praised me with wreaths or exaggerated compliments – inte – but he confirmed that things I had done to cope with life as well as possible for everyone around me involved including myself – was WELL DONE. He did not diminish it. He reflected on it and gave without the slightest drama or stinginess completely normal confirmation that I had succeeded well in the silent struggle that it is often to be a single mother and a professional and a human being- but always in the first place, because it is constantly acute mother, in a context where everyone is emotionally dependent on each other. He confirmed things that no other man could have commented on as well done, or even seen that it had happened. But like other working mothers and especially single people, know and which they without affirmations easily confirm because they have the same.

But there are often , as my friends and I experience it anyway, a certain delicacy, a stinginess in men that does not allow them to give to women / mothers the cred they should have, though they themselves require cred and appreciation and confirmation for what they do. Something that women also often give, automatically, just as we show children appreciation because we know it makes them grow well. It does not matter who the man is, this may apply to the ex-spouse, the father of the children but it can also apply to brothers , fathers or male friends and relatives. Men, in general, it seems difficult to admit that certain crucial things women / mothers have been forced to take responsibility for simply because men have not done so – and if the women / mothers had not done this in silence, things could have gone wrong, maybe really bad, perhaps so bad that the children had crashed or come out on dangerous water, or whatever it may be… the man might not have got his career is well a common and clear and concrete example in the context. For many years, women can inwardly cry out for that confirmation from those who should give it, who should see the context, who should see what they themselves have gained from her holistic thinking and responsibility and trickery with their will, their needs and conditions and ability, strength and endurance and loyalty. Say it was well done, Say you saw what I did to keep everyone afloat, to spare the children, to spare parents, to spare you, to help everyone cope as well as possible – something that mothers generally learn to do when their children are brand new and would not survive without another person's care. Unfortunately, this profoundly changing experience is not so planted even in the interior of the young fathers, even today. Among other things, Sam could easily understand such things. He understood it without me saying anything in particular, he had reflected on my life and the challenges I had had and my conditions all on his own and explained to me what he had understood and it was so much more than what other men in my life had understood or even thought about. And it was nice. And made me think; what an unusual man, and how strong he is in himself that can give this that so few men can give in such an obvious way, but which strangely enough all women of all ages see and understand. This confirmation that he as one understood my strength and above all the struggle that forced the strength gave me a sense of confidence. He had seen. And he could say that.

But it was not difficult for him to give me cred because he had no dignity to lose. Psychopaths say what they understand that the person in front of them would like to talk about, need to hear. They reflect the other, and no remarkable intelligence is required to do so and what it above all does not require is a true and sincere feeling. What did it matter what he said? Everything he said was just a tool to win my trust and nothing he said risked his self-esteem. But I think in this, quite trivial, there is one of many keys to that ” strong women” , despite the habit of managing on their own and being self-motivated and skeptical and following their own direction can ” fall for psychopaths”. Feel respect for them, trust and finally someone who understands! These men can say things that ordinary men can not get over their lips ! They can admire you for what is relevant, without being exaggerated – always rooted in intelligence and smart discussions and reciprocity – for what you do, what you have accomplished, how you have ”conduct your life”, how well you have managed to manage your pound even though you have taken most of the emotional responsibility at the same time (and practical ) for children and family, something that does not extend over six months but over several decades.

Så, Please ; you ordinary men, please give your women cred but also take more emotional and practical responsibility for the whole, so that your not strong, radiant women one day sit in front of a psychopath who confirms everything you were too stingy to do, because you did not want to pretend about their greatness and your weakness. In general, I have learned just this; (but I learned that about when I was twenty, but you could say that the knowledge has since deepened) GIVE EACH OTHER MORE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION for high pharaoh. This applies to all kinds of relationships. DARE to bid on it, it does not diminish your own value. Dare to see that someone has done something great, excellent, or nice that you yourself are not even close to being able to and therefore feel an ounce of jealousy. Swing over it. This is especially true of fathers in relation to their children ( especially their sons) and it applies to men in relationships with women. It applies all the time and everyone, but mean what you say.

In any case, I'm wondering if this with STRONG WOMEN and psychopaths can have anything to do with this to some extent. As many as I have met, especially with regard to the judiciary and to healthcare that has said this; ”… and she is also a STRONG woman!” och ”there are ALWAYS STRONG WOMEN….!

Conclusion: Psychopaths with a hidden agenda have no difficulty confirming the strength of strong women. They still do not mean it. But the strong women are amazed to have to deal with a man who is so mature inside – and strong – that he can acknowledge her strength. It makes him unique.

These are just postSam reflections, hardly even claims, but REFLECTIONS, which may have a certain value. And since everything has changed on my website, I can not insert ” READ MORE” the tag and also not preview it so I hit and publish straight off.

Adjöken.

Om Christina Herrström

Författare och dramatiker Ebba & Didrik Glappet Tusen gånger starkare Tionde våningen Leontines längtan Den hungriga prinsessan Denzel Öderläggaren Mirrimo Sirrimo En underbar utsikt Mitt namn är Erling Midsommarkvartetten Marsvinsnätter Gäst i Djupa Salar Suxxess Skimrande vingar
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5 answers to Strong women and psychopaths

  1. Sol skriver:

    I think you write so very well and insightfully about this extremely complex and elusive phenomenon of psychopathy. I often think in pictures when I try to explain to others what I myself have experienced. Overly clear, simple and drastic pictures because no words seem to be enough to describe the catastrophic event and the course.
    Have thought for yourself in the paths you write when it comes to psychopaths and strong women, I absolutely believe you have an important point there!
    That definitely fits in with my ex. His specialty is usually divorced middle-aged women who think they have found their soulmate until they discover that they were not alone in doing so.. He plays a high stakes game and often has a pair 2-3 conditions in parallel.
    In an unimaginable way, he has often quickly shouldered it ”empty” the suit at home with these often successful women, their children and aging parents. He gives a soft and empathetic impression on the verge of licking. He listens and understands, offers great in the beginning but soon it ends with the women have invited him on trips, expensive consumer goods and that they have lent large sums of money to him.
    In a way, I think it's extra cruel to give in to women who are above all looking for a soulmate and friend. Sometimes I think it's for the other women as for me, I would never have fallen for his deceptively artificial and a bit ridiculous way when I was young…very paradoxical.
    As a young girl I was picky but also always very careful and afraid of me, be afraid of getting hurt or being exploited. Did not have a thought that I could risk getting as bad as I did in adulthood.
    What you write fits me so well. I was looking for someone who dared to give me compliments for my strength, for what I had managed to accomplish in my life with hard work. Someone who seemed to stick to my inner qualities and was not fixated on appearance.
    After being in a hellish division of property process for almost three years, I know that I have lost the one I once was., it feels so unbelievably cruel and unfair.

  2. Irina Pettersson skriver:

    Wow what your words are true, how many times have I not heard :"How could you go there that is so strong"!
    But those who shape psychopaths as children are usually women. Does the woman educate the boy differently than the girl ? and somewhere it goes wrong or the boy's image of the woman is shaped by the woman ?
    My story is about a man who was almost trained as a priest… my father had just passed away and succession that took several years.
    The "priest" had a daughter on 1 1/2, the mother was horrible according to him and during almost 2 years I did everything to help him in his struggle, I became an accomplice, you could say. If we got married, he could show that he had a stable relationship and get both custody and contact… He was not ready as a priest because the divorce with the child's mother had taken him so hard…When I found a letter from the Cathedral Chapter, it turned out that even before the daughter was born, he had been suspended.
    Yes you understand that there is a lot to tell and as you know, you who have been exposed, only they understand. The Mental Abuse is just a part of it all for what you are allowed to carry with you after it is over then you are put in question. I have not been to any trial so my words are less credible.
    I thought this only happened on film or others not me …
    I managed financially, but it could have gone really bad given my dad's passing ,but he could not fight on two fronts the girl and me. But the consequences of my "stupidity" I have to live with .
    Thank you for a good book and the sequence about the son and the mother and how a pity it was about him etc.…I could not have described better myself. It was "copy and paste" how I later got in touch with the mother and we were very helpful to each other.

  3. Psychopathy is not something acquired, without an injury you are born with according to what I have learned. And it's not just men who are psychopaths, but also women. But it seems that there are more men, or the women's psychopathy is expressed in a different way. It is important that the knowledge of how such things are done is spread because it is impossible to explain it to others. It is not possible to tell even over an evening, it takes a book of almost six hundred pages and not even then you can get everything needed to give it all its different dimensions. As a victim, however, you are not stupid, or accomplice. These people know very well what they are doing. Thank you for your words, and stop considering it your own stupidity. And good that you have contact with the mother. You find a whole horde of others who have been seduced in various ways around a person like this. Thank you for your words

  4. I hope it's not so bad that you have lost who you once were. This is how I also feel everything most of the time, but I hope it is not so. It's unbelievably cruel and unfair as you say, but one must not let these people win over one, ens inre, over one's dignity, over one's self-love and self-respect. Meeting a person like this is like being run over by a truck that just stopped to let one out at the crosswalk.. There are agreements we never reflect on but which these people do not follow. No one who has experienced it can help it. What governs them is something we others cannot understand and will never understand. We can leave those thoughts. There is no explanation. Now you just have to see it as one of many human experiences , this is what human life looks like – it contains so much danger and pain that no one wants to be a part of – but unfortunately, så är det. It is important to deal with it, and to move on. You must not let something like this keep you pressed against the ground for the rest of your life, you have to water all your inner flowers anyway and defy everything and keep going! The perseverance and loyalty and strength shown to these insidious people – it's time to show ourselves. The strength they have been drawn to, the light they were drawn to in their darkness, should we not forget but give ourselves instead and be proud that we have managed to fight an incomprehensible monster and get out of it. Edge support , sargade, shocked – but out of it. Time to move on!

  5. Sol skriver:

    Thank you for your words Christina! Words that I really take to heart. You are of course right, one must not let such a person take away from oneself the will and ability of life. But it is hard, especially as it's not just about me.
    If and when I become free in practical terms, I believe and hope to be able to cut the straps that hold me under the surface. One day it will above all, as you describe so beautifully and accurately, is about watering my inner flowers and affirming the light and strength that I actually think I have.
    Sol

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