Strong women and psychopaths

Sometimes I come across the word priestine. Do not think it is spelled that way, but one thinks at least of a priest. Sam the devastator used to fascinate me to say that I was. ” Used” is to take in, but he said it on a few occasions and I was so surprised every time, not least of that astonishing appreciation, a little tender expression he had when he said that. Vadå, sa jag, I'm not at all. I have lots of experience of life and have been beaten a lot and am not at all as friend as you might think.

It means ” undamaged ”. Now afterwards, I think there is something very special about this, that the person who is in the process of emptying one's life of opportunities and knows that he risks my security so much that I can become homeless, with an appreciative, tender, fascinated mine says just that ” You are so priestine!”

This is something you have to laugh at afterwards, when sitting with the conclusion. You do not have the result in the meantime, as you may understand. It somehow annoyed me that he thought I was so unspoiled, but he was right in the sense that I had never dealt with a psychopath before. And it's not easy stuff because they camouflage themselves so well. Ja, that way I was undamaged but he knew he was just about to change it at the moment.

One thing I have learned from people in mental health care and the judiciary afterwards is that it seems that many so-called strong women fall victim to psychopathic men. Psychopathic people are attracted to strong people in general because there is more to gain there, but I have come up with another terrible reason why ” strong women” suffer from psychopaths!

Something that was important and interesting to me and completely different with Sam was that he had no difficulty in giving me cred for my successes., for my intelligence, my talent and also for how I had handled motherhood, divorce and illness, all these challenges of life that have a series of visible to the naked eye but nonetheless completely crucial subdivisions in the form of various challenges of responsibility and ethics and holistic thinking. It was not that he actively praised me and praised me with wreaths or exaggerated compliments – inte – but he confirmed that things I had done to cope with life as well as possible for everyone around me involved including myself – was WELL DONE. He did not diminish it. He reflected on it and gave without the slightest drama or stinginess completely normal confirmation that I had succeeded well in the silent struggle that it is often to be a single mother and a professional and a human being- but always in the first place, because it is constantly acute mother, in a context where everyone is emotionally dependent on each other. He confirmed things that no other man could have commented on as well done, or even seen that it had happened. But like other working mothers and especially single people, know and which they without affirmations easily confirm because they have the same.

But there are often , as my friends and I experience it anyway, a certain delicacy, a stinginess in men that does not allow them to give to women / mothers the cred they should have, though they themselves require cred and appreciation and confirmation for what they do. Something that women also often give, automatically, just as we show children appreciation because we know it makes them grow well. It does not matter who the man is, this may apply to the ex-spouse, the father of the children but it can also apply to brothers , fathers or male friends and relatives. Men, in general, it seems difficult to admit that certain crucial things women / mothers have been forced to take responsibility for simply because men have not done so – and if the women / mothers had not done this in silence, things could have gone wrong, maybe really bad, perhaps so bad that the children had crashed or come out on dangerous water, or whatever it may be… the man might not have got his career is well a common and clear and concrete example in the context. For many years, women can inwardly cry out for that confirmation from those who should give it, who should see the context, who should see what they themselves have gained from her holistic thinking and responsibility and trickery with their will, their needs and conditions and ability, strength and endurance and loyalty. Say it was well done, Say you saw what I did to keep everyone afloat, to spare the children, to spare parents, to spare you, to help everyone cope as well as possible – something that mothers generally learn to do when their children are brand new and would not survive without another person's care. Unfortunately, this profoundly changing experience is not so planted even in the interior of the young fathers, even today. Among other things, Sam could easily understand such things. He understood it without me saying anything in particular, he had reflected on my life and the challenges I had had and my conditions all on his own and explained to me what he had understood and it was so much more than what other men in my life had understood or even thought about. And it was nice. And made me think; what an unusual man, and how strong he is in himself that can give this that so few men can give in such an obvious way, but which strangely enough all women of all ages see and understand. This confirmation that he as one understood my strength and above all the struggle that forced the strength gave me a sense of confidence. He had seen. And he could say that.

But it was not difficult for him to give me cred because he had no dignity to lose. Psychopaths say what they understand that the person in front of them would like to talk about, need to hear. They reflect the other, and no remarkable intelligence is required to do so and what it above all does not require is a true and sincere feeling. What did it matter what he said? Everything he said was just a tool to win my trust and nothing he said risked his self-esteem. But I think in this, quite trivial, there is one of many keys to that ” strong women” , despite the habit of managing on their own and being self-motivated and skeptical and following their own direction can ” fall for psychopaths”. Feel respect for them, trust and finally someone who understands! These men can say things that ordinary men can not get over their lips ! They can admire you for what is relevant, without being exaggerated – always rooted in intelligence and smart discussions and reciprocity – for what you do, what you have accomplished, how you have ”conduct your life”, how well you have managed to manage your pound even though you have taken most of the emotional responsibility at the same time (and practical ) for children and family, something that does not extend over six months but over several decades.

Så, Please ; you ordinary men, please give your women cred but also take more emotional and practical responsibility for the whole, so that your not strong, radiant women one day sit in front of a psychopath who confirms everything you were too stingy to do, because you did not want to pretend about their greatness and your weakness. In general, I have learned just this; (but I learned that about when I was twenty, but you could say that the knowledge has since deepened) GIVE EACH OTHER MORE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION for high pharaoh. This applies to all kinds of relationships. DARE to bid on it, it does not diminish your own value. Dare to see that someone has done something great, excellent, or nice that you yourself are not even close to being able to and therefore feel an ounce of jealousy. Swing over it. This is especially true of fathers in relation to their children ( especially their sons) and it applies to men in relationships with women. It applies all the time and everyone, but mean what you say.

In any case, I'm wondering if this with STRONG WOMEN and psychopaths can have anything to do with this to some extent. As many as I have met, especially with regard to the judiciary and to healthcare that has said this; ”… and she is also a STRONG woman!” och ”there are ALWAYS STRONG WOMEN….!

Conclusion: Psychopaths with a hidden agenda have no difficulty confirming the strength of strong women. They still do not mean it. But the strong women are amazed to have to deal with a man who is so mature inside – and strong – that he can acknowledge her strength. It makes him unique.

These are just postSam reflections, hardly even claims, but REFLECTIONS, which may have a certain value. And since everything has changed on my website, I can not insert ” READ MORE” the tag and also not preview it so I hit and publish straight off.

Adjöken.